As one fades another enters......
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| Fri, 09-17-2010 - 2:06pm |
So my AP of 14 months seems distant. he's not as "in" to me as the previous 13 months. He says he's happy and he loves me. But i am feeling like something is going on. Maybe im looking for something to be wrong. I feel like i put forth all the effort to see each other. then twice last week when i could get out and see him, he doesnt tell me he was out and available. i found out early this week. why would he not tell me? he usually jumps, hell dives at the chance to spend time. he's been distant and i feel a little upset and irritated when i talk to him. he knew i was mad cause he hadnt told me about being out and available so he scheduled out of no where lunch w/ me. i reluctantly went. lunch at our same spot, was fine, it did lack something... he asks if i wanna go to our hotel, which was 2 blocks away, so i agreed. the IC and passion was great! but even so afterwards and the rest of the week, ive still felt something is wrong. i asked but he says nothing, that he is good.
Maybe its just me looking for something... i say this because i had a old friend find me on facebook and we've been chatting for 3 weeks. mostly catching up and little flirting. i was out last friday night w/ some friend at a bar, he text me and showed up. he knows all the people i know, so him showing up wasnt ackward. we had some drinks, danced little and he walked me to my car and he kissed me. we said goodbye and that was it. well tonight he asked if i wanted to meet again for drinks and see what goes from there... well i know what that means... he wants IC...
i am so mixedup. i am intrigued by this man but i dont wanna be decitful to my AP. besides my H its, been only me and my AP for a year.... i know he'd be devestated if he found out i kissed this man.... i feel bad but i want to see where this thing goes w/ the new man.....

OTOH, you might want to do some soul searching rather than going from AP to AP.Dont take me wrong,I am saying this keeping in your best interests in mind.You dont want to get lost,do you?
Going therapy would be a good place to begin with.
who else here thinks bestplayer and k sound incredibly alike?
and 'k'
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Isn't it something how one minute you are lacking all this attention and once you have someone other then spouse all these men come out the wood works. It must be some type of aura I'm giving off but as flattering as it is I don't want to be with anyone else aside from AP & H. I think you are enjoying the attention that these men are giving you & just want to say to please be very careful. Having one affair is hard enough, trying to swing 2 will be exhausting and you have to really be on your toes.
Its hard enough for me to keep up with one, the energy just drains me. Please think this through.
BTW~You should block Bestplayer, he/she shouldn't be posting here
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
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Yeah, we have some posters that clearly need to post their way SOMEWHERE ELSE!
oh what a mess i have gotten myself into.... as much as it is a mess, i like both these men. i may try to juggle them..... yikes