Letter to AP

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Letter to AP
5
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 4:52pm

Hello All ~



My last post I had questioned what the next step in an A could possibly be. I asked AP for one on one face to face time. Lots of life happened for both of us and this week just became impossible to meet. Instead I wrote him a letter. I gave it to him this morning as he was boarding to work in another state.



Here's some of what I wrote:



For the past few days your words have been ringing a bell in my head. I've heard you mention on more than one occasion that "we can't get to the next step with this: meaning every time I accuse you of seeing someone else." I hope you can understand my question. but.. what is the next step? You see from my standpoint there is no next step. Until you decide to leave your marriage. I would not ever ask you for an ultimatum, that decision must come from you alone. We've got enough wind whistling against our sails and I wouldn't want to add resentment to a life together because it wasn't what one of us wanted. I have reserved a great part of who am because you don't deserve me. You see, I am in a R with a MM I have a right to hold on to that part of me for my future husband. Does it make sense to you? I can also hear you say, "if that's what you want then go for it!" What I really want is to share time & space with you. I want to turn a house into our home. If tomorrow never came, I can say that I have loved you... I am asking for a one on one face to face time that requires two adults to listen to what the other has to say. . .



I've heard from him, but it's been generic stuff like, just landed, checking into the hotel. I'm not sure if he's read the letter yet.



It's funny my horoscope says:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 5:58pm

Maybe this is your predicted "call" Summer, LOL.

I think your letter is a good one. You want to know where you stand. You want to know if he has any serious intentions towards you. You want to know if the two of you are "working toward" something, and not just planning to "drift" forever.

Have you decided what you will do if he says that he likes things just the way they are? That maybe he doesn't even know what he meant by his comment about "the next step", but leaving his M wasn't it? It's best to think about all the answers he might give you and prepare yourself for what your reaction will be.

At least, you will know. I'm hoping for you that you get the answers you wish for!

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 2:08am
I am curious, too, as to what he thinks the next step is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 2:25pm

Hello all~



this morning I am sad, mad pisssed off, ready to throw in the towel. On Friday, AP texted me every chance he could. he would update me on the ins and outs of the trip. I know he read the letter because he used a phrase of

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2009
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 3:03pm
Not sure how much this helps out the situation, but I talked to AP last night. He said that the next step in our R is a constant connection between us. So that it doesn't matter where either one of us are, that we stay connected. hmmmm... still pokings and prodding on this one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 6:17pm
To me, that sounds like he was scrambling to think of something to say, because it really doesn't make any sense as a "next step". He probably doesn't even know what he meant himself so he had to come up with something!

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've