Feelings changing
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| Mon, 09-20-2010 - 8:55pm |
I have been with this PA for over a year but it is LDR. He is SG and younger. There have been problems in the past because he is not good at communicating and he has never put in the effort that I have (I know shocker). I had a long talk with him in June and he changed his behavior and was much more attentive and better at responding to email. IM and email are the only way we correspond.
Recently I have been helping him out financially because of his being laid off. He has been very appreciative and I believe he is being honest about that.
Things were going well and I was feeling better about the relationship ie:more secure but last week he made a drastic change to his life after watching a video on youtube. For some reason it really bothers me that he could watch something and take it as gospel and change his entire life because of it without researching and taking the time to really think about it or question anything that was said. I saw something there that I had not see before. I'm not even sure what that is! I think it is the fact that he has gone so far overboard on seeing one side of something. Since we talked about it, I have not heard from him in two days and feel like he is avoiding me. I told him while I did not share his opinion on all of it I respected his opinion.
Now it is bothering me. I am finding myself very sad and depressed and questioning everything.
This is nothing new and I have spent the entire year usually wondering where I stand with him. I do care about him and genuinely like him as a person but feel like something changed inside me and I don't know why or what it is.
I am going to be near him next week and we were planning to spend all kinds of time together. I IMMED him today and have heard nothing back. I am not sure how I really feel anymore. I am not going to contact him anymore and see what he has to say. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I think your idea is a good one. Let him come to you.
I'm not sure what kind of video he saw but sometimes if we feel passionately about something we don't want to think anyone we know feels differently. That's why people aren't supposed to discuss religion and politics in a group LOL. He might just need time to cool off and realize that not everyone is going to feel like him.
But that won't solve the other issues you've mentioned. I don't think you should have offered to help him financially, it doesn't seem like your relationship is close enough to warrant anything like that. The whole situation just sounds like you're on the losing end all around. I would seriously think about walking away from this one!
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
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