What Next?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
What Next?
6
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 10:25am

Not sure what to do next...



Background:

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: sarahsmiles67
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 11:31am

Hi Sarahsmiles,



I think theres a possibility that his wife found something which is why he's trying to keep very low key. I also suspect that she could be the one IM'ing or emailing you back like she's him. Be very careful what you say when sending him messages. I would stop all contact, fall back and wait until he contacts you, hopefully via a phone call so you know its him.



You really don't know what happened but perhaps in time when things cool down he'll reach out and let you know where you both stand. I wish you all the best and that you get answers soon so to calm your mind.



 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: sarahsmiles67
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 11:35am

It sounds like he has "blocked and walked" sarah. If you've ever read on EAS (ending an affair support), they advocate blocking and walking - that is, blocking all access by e-mail or phone (blocking or canceling accounts) and having no more contact - ever. They figure that the AP will know what that means - that it is over - and that nothing more needs to be said.

That e-mail that you received asking if he had "seen you on the street" MIGHT have been sent my his W - if they were together on the street and she suspected that his AP had walked by, she might have been fishing to see if it was you.

I personally think that an e-mail or a call saying once and for all that it is over is kinder, but the message is clear either way. He might have blocked your e-mails from getting to him at his work e-mail, or is having them sent straight into another folder or the trash folder. Or he's ignoring them. Obviously the fact that he canceled an e-mail account makes it very clear that this is over. I know it hurts, but he may have had a d-day and his life might be in turmoil right now. Any contact you may have sent him might have been read by his W (and can you imagine how she would feeling reading you wishing him a good back to school for his kids?)

I would just accept that it is over and go on from there. I'm sorry you're in pain, and I wish I could help more! You can go over to EAS and lurk there for awhile and see if you'd like to join in. Here's a link:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/listsf.asp?webtag=iv-rlending&nav=start

I wish you all the best sweetie!

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: sarahsmiles67
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 4:15pm

Thank you for your honest and direct response.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2010
In reply to: sarahsmiles67
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 5:05pm

Sorry for your pain..I hope that if and when mine gets to that point that my AP will not just walk away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
In reply to: sarahsmiles67
Tue, 09-21-2010 - 6:09pm

I, too, think he got caught and he must be doing a good job of laying low if you haven't had a phone call or an email from an angry wife yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: sarahsmiles67
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 5:08pm
When should I give up hope for him to contact me?