I hate FB!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2010
I hate FB!
11
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 10:59pm

We've been settling into a routine of sorts ,.. we are friends and we see each other when we can which is usually once a week, once every other week ... things are good. It seems like at times like this I start to get anstsy and question everything ... we used to talk all the time now its still daily but less frequently and more generic ... he says that we are at a point in our friendship where we just know its there and constant communication isn't necessary to prove it. He says we are stuck together for life ... he still tells me he loves me at least once a day ... and we are still intimate when we see eachother. But we are only friends ... anyway ,.. right after texting my about the fact that my Son had 4 staples put in his head toniht and how he was ok but i was a little traumatized ... he says to get some rest because I need it and that he loves me ,,, very standard ,,, then he posts on FB about looking around at your life and wondering what he had done to be so happy. Watching his kids sleep and hearing the soft end of day sounds from his wife drift up to him upstairs ... then he said Thank You God ...

He has never hidded that he loves his family and I don't expect him to leave them but the fact is that he was intimate with me this week so I just get irritated with those posts because I feel like they are hypocritical ... WTF to I fit into this perfect life? I don't and that's obvious ... to him we are best friends. Am I a complete idiot?????? that entire posts and the post in response to it on how the world needs more men like him are a total crock ... I just feel like an idiot tonight!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 7:54am
These relationships, for the most part, are hypocritical, at least the ones where one person is
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 8:44am
I feel your pain regarding Facebook. I am not a friend of AP on his personal FB page, however he has it open to everyone so I do have access to it. His picture alone is disheartening as it is of him and his wife cuddling on the couch. I have seen many posts speaking of what a great adoring husband he is, etc. We are only a very small part of their lives and we need to accept it as it is for the most part...at least I know that I do or either make the decision not to--pretty simple, but emotionally it's very complicated. You can be happy that you get "I love you" and hopefully he does mean that..I dont even get that..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 9:15am

Tangled, just want to say I enjoy reading your responses because they always say exactly how I feel or about to say. Hope you are well & that you enjoy your weekend.



 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 9:18am

Hi MRM,



I know it hurts reading those posts from your AP about his family but he is living a double life and that was his other side coming into play. You or shall I say we are all a secret. No one knows about us so that's one down fall that we have being in an affair. Our AP's can't ever display any public admiration because we are not suppose to be. That's the harsh reality of it but it comes with the territory.



Wishing you a wondering weekend!

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 9:48am
He loves his W obviously and his family. You are a side dish when he gets tired of the mundane, but his heart is with her. You chose this life and chose to be hidden so it comes with the territory.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2009
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 10:56am

I really know how you feel.

My AP is "Mr. Family Man"! No one in the world would believe him even capable of cheating on his wife. On the surface he is the picture of a perfect husband and father.

I made him change his facebook picture. It was him and his wife & kids. I had a hard time chatting with im and staring at the pic of his wife! sheesh!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 1:30pm
Although he couldn't post it, he might very well have been including you and his relationship with you as one of the things he's thankful for. He was content, wondering what he'd done to be so happy - what makes you think he wasn't thinking of his WHOLE life when he wrote that? It might seem very strange, but I thank God for my life - all of it - because all of it together is what makes me happy. I could never mention part of it publicly though.

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
In reply to: mrm7391
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 2:38pm
I often hate seeing posts on FB about my AP, we are friends online. but he does post pics and updates on his family and his W. some of them "caring" but it does go w/ the "act" he has to put on. and same for me, i have to look like this happy W and say or do things that a happy W would do. There are some times when i say those things i am referring to my AP, i use a little secret code in the message to let him know its about him... it is hurtful too see the things they post cause i love him but it does go w/ the things we have to accept as the OW. like purple and lexi put it.... just focus on how he is w/ you.... if you dont your drive yourself crazy. i had to finally stop "reading into" this posts or the way he is w/ her when we are out as couples together(AP/W & me/H hangout together often), cause i was gettin overly jealous and it wrecked some pretty nice nights we had alone. i just try (although that is hard to do sometimes) focus on our time together and be happy w/ what we have....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 11:47am
I agree with the comments about A's being partly about wearing different faces in different roles.
I have been through many rounds of e-mail, chat, FB dynamics that in retrospect I don't think were very meaningful or helpful (especially regret the sad and angry emotions that got stirred up).
My bias was to interpret all actions by AP as personally directed. Some actions did involve me, as in when we dealt with almost d-day many months ago (he dropped all contact for three months out of fear).
It takes discipline to remember I am part of his world but not all of it.
For you with your FB experience...learn from your experience would be my best recommendation. It didn't 'add value' to your well being (pardon the lingo). I still check if my AP is on FB (he de-activated months ago) and I'd have a hard time not looking at it if he did. So my advice to avoid looking at FB is likely not very realistic. If you do choose to look, remember you'll be facing this truth: that you ARE in the picture but in an invisible way and that any public acknowledgment is out of the question.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
In reply to: mrm7391
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 2:41pm

Thank you Rayne.



Id like to be enjoying my weekend but its been rough for me. I'm about to post about how Im feeling.



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