why do I do this to myself??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2010
why do I do this to myself??
7
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 8:48pm

I thought I was doing so well, with him (AP) The last time we were together he said that this was just sex, not a relationship. How can he say that this is not a R, when we talk, have sex, text, email? I seen him on monday went half hour away to meet him,spent several hours with him. I seen him on Tuesday (football game) all he did was look in my direction and try to get my attention. Thursday he came into my store and gave me quick glances and then eye contact and then a smile. He drives past my house every day, doesn't want me to get serious with anyone, just play a little, said that I shouldn't get into a R with anyone for 2 years.



Then I look on his wife's FB page (which is torture) i don't know why I do this. She posts about her and her hubby going on a ride for the day. I cant seem to get him out of my head, when I finally start to get over him, he gets in touch with me. I seriously do not know what to do anymore, I want him in my life, but do not want to share him. He is worried about his W finding out. He told me he wasn't happy but didn't want to throw it all away. Sounds to me like he wants me to wait around until he is ready to end his marriage. I know that I should not wait for him, should find someone single but am not ready to let go of him, ugghhhhh......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 10:34pm

It doesn't sound like he knows what the heck he wants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 8:31am

When a guy insists that it's "just sex, not a relationship", what he means is, he wants you to be OK with having sex anytime he wants to and not expect anything in return - no commitments, no expectations of behaving a certain way. It's a way of making it "OK" for him to treat you whatever way he wants, and he's hoping you'll feel happy if he just gives you crumbs of attention - after all, it's "just sex".

If it does make you happy, as Jane says, then it won't hurt to hold on to and give you something to look forward to. You have gotten a lot of self confidence back striking out on your own, and I'll bet that you won't be happy with this R for long. I think you'll come to realize that you need more, and you will set out to get it, just like you set out for a better life for yourself already! (((HUGS)))

Proud to be a









You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull



Proud to be a





You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2010
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 10:49am

Single life is going great! There are alot of men out there that are scratching at my door, the ones that I don't need nor want! Friends of mine or friends of friends ect.! I am happy with my decision, just sometimes lonely, but I am sure that will go away with time. AP has been here for me, but he has been busy with school and a hunting trip, so haven't had alot of time to talk like we normally do. I feel good that we live closer to each other and am still hoping that things will work out in the end.



There is another guy that is single, I used to work with him, he had the hots for me way back when so he could be a good guy to hang with. I don't think I am ready to add another man into the mix, just taking time for me. I will hold onto AP for now, LOL. I just need a little more of him! Thanks for the advice girls!






Edited 9/26/2010 10:50 am ET by army_mom1130
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 3:13pm

ITA with jane and lexi.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2010
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 8:41pm

I am not one to talk but PLEASE LET HIM GO.. He is using you for sex. I wish sometime I was born a man. So, I can have my fun and not get emotionally attach to no body...



At lease he is being honest about the relationship, my just lie, lie and even talk about marriage when I know he is not ready for that type of commitment... He can even tell me he love me but turn around and say to me I want to marry you in May.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2010
Mon, 09-27-2010 - 12:16pm
I wish I could just let him go, when I do this he comes back...I really do need him in my life, when we are together we can talk about anything, and the sex is amazing! I understand where you are coming from, he never lies to me, he just wont admit that he has feelings for me. I wish you the best with your AP.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 2:58pm

I would still hold on to him if he makes me happy but keep my "options" open ;). If you don't want to date or see other people that's ok but if you do then go for it. There's nothing wrong with enjoying some one elses company when MM is not around. I also feel he shouldn't tell you how long you should go without dating. Thats completly up to you to decide. I think he just wants you all to himself, can't say I blame him but you have to be happy too. If he can't be there all the time to give you want you want & need then someone else will ;)



Best of luck to you!

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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