Good time for a "roll call"
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| Mon, 09-27-2010 - 8:32am |
For one thing, we've lost some posters and gained some posters lately. It's a good time to remind everyone of our stories.
And secondly, if we're going to have a few days of "read only", a roll call thread will be a good one to read! :-)
It would be especially nice if some lurkers jump in here with us and join our group.
I'm Lexi, and I'm the CL, or community leader, of MAS. I'm a MW involved with a single guy and we're coming up on our 12th anniversary soon. I'm in a very calm, smooth sort of A where there is little drama, lots of talking and friendship, and yeah, sex. This is not my first A, I have had 2 others previously. My first one was when I'd been married for 15 years, and it was a pretty intense love affair with a single guy. I broke that one off after about 1½ years because I honestly felt like I was holding him back from finding someone of his own. My second one was a "rebound" A to distract myself from ending the first, and he was single, and a total player/sociopath. That one was sort of off and on for 1½ years before I let it dwindle away and die. He actually kept coming back after that and I just said no way - in a gentle way, because you don't want to anger a sociopath. Sometimes I recognize people's APs here as sociopaths but it's so hard to convince anyone that that is the case - until it's too late and their lives are ruined. My present A is sort of FWB but we certainly have feelings for each other. I have many complicated reasons I stay with my OM now when I left my first single other guy because I felt I was "holding him back". In this case I would feel like I was abandoning my OM if I broke it off - it's just a different situation.
So jump in with your story - looking forward to reading it!

You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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Hello all!! If you think I am with a sociopath then please please please tell me!! =)
I have been in an A for the past 6 months. I found this board and am thankful for it because one of the hardest things is not being able to talk about it with someone. My friends suspect but I don't feel like being judged. He is MM and I am a MW.
The man I am with is so very sweet and wonderful, who I can say loves me for exactly who I am. The problems we do encounter is because of the logistics of the A. Hiding, the constant missing, the jealousy..it really is unhealthy...but complicated love is better than no love (as he has said).
I have no intimacy with my H. He rarely touches me and constantly critisizes me. When he gets into "thumbing down" mode I actualy daydream of leaving which my AP is trying to talk me into.
Thats my story in
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
My story is a crazy one. I was in a R with a guy for 10 years, 5 of those years, he was deployed. I just recently left him and moved out (good choice for me!) I met my current and only AP 4 years ago. He was my childrens teacher, the first time we were together, he was single, I was attached. I think that we would of been together still but he didn't want to be involved with a students mother. We live in a small town and people talk, he didn't want that. So he moved on and married, he has been married for 2 years. 5 months ago he contacted me and said that he missed me and we decided to have an A.
I am totally in love with this man, I know he is the one that could make my life a happy one. I get weak in the knees, my heart races, ect. We broke it off for 23 days but are now back on. He is not sure of what he wants, he says one thing and his actions are totally different. I am now single and he is having a problem with when I start dating again. He doesn't want to throw his marriage away, but also misses me when we go NC.
For now I am going to see what happens, just going to continue to work on myself, and see AP.
Let's see, I'm a MW in an A with a MM for the last nine months or so.
anotherseyes
my marriage is loveless. we (me/H) have a basic function as mechanical needs for the house and kids. we (me/H) have torn each other apart over the years that it is impossible for me to "want" to connect to him emotionally. the one thing that has always been great was the IC. but when you dont particularly care for the person, the person makes you mad, you really dont want to be intimate w/ them. i dont want my kids w/o their father so i put on a "act" and life goes on. i am certain when they are older i will leave.
I am a MW having an A, w/ a MM, we've been seeing each other for 14 months. me and AP meet thru my best friend. my BFF is friends w/ AP's wife & we all starting having out after many gathers and introductions at BFF house. At first i have to admit it was a hook up out of a sort of revenge. AP's wife had been very mean and hurtful to my BFF. My BFF the type to not get mad and do something. Turns out AP's wife was bad mouthing my BFF, me & a few of our girlfriends. i had noticed AP flirty & i heard he was unhappily married. So kind-of put out a vibe. at 1st i let him make some moves & then pretend i didnt notice them. not long later he had to rescue me cause my car had broke down. he had the flirting on overdrive! i pretended not to notice. we started having dinner w/ them once a week. a few weeks later he contact me to do some work for his company. we worked on the project for a few weeks and when we meet for the delivery, i started the flirting back. i knew at this point he had taken the "bait". we talked that evening, had some happy hour drinks & he opened up about his life and his W and marriage. i knew at that point if i offered up a meet up he'd do. and i wanted to do something to get back at his W for the things she had done.. so the next day he requested me online to chat on messanger. the next week we meet every day after work to chat, flirt & little bit of kissing, and by friday we had made arrangements to go to a hotel. it was going to be one time and i was gonna cut ties. but he and i kept talking, and starting having lunch. we connected so well on so many levels. it soon turned into a full blow A. i do love this man and he loves and adores me. It has had it share of ups and downs... downs in the past 6 weeks. but we have as of two weeks ago moved past it and are in such a wonderful place right now. i am enjoying so much what we have right now. We talk every day of the week, 7 days a week by phone, text and IM. we see each other one on one 1-2 times a week for IC, lunch or just spending lil time after work. our families.... ap/his W/kids & me/H/our kids..... have get together/BBQ every sunday and we usually dinner on wednesday at restaurant.
I had recently had a fling w/ another man, who i call AP#2.. i been trying to keep it more friendly than flirty lately. and i think he is starting to distance off. i dont wanna completely cut him out of my life but i would rather him a friend than a lover. the one time we had IC was great but i think it was a mistake.
I am a mw having an A with my dh's best friend. Me and AP have also been best of friends for 5 or so years. We have always flirted, him more than me, the last couple of years we both realized there was a little more to it then that. We started texting 18 months or so ago, innocent at first then it turned last winter. We started on MSN after that and got physical in the spring. All the way along AP was dragging his feet not wanting to go further but could never hold out. At one point early on we were both going to leave our spouses and be together. After both trying to leave he decided he wanted to try to work things out.
DH is gone on holidays right now, AP and I are spending time together and have agreed to stop the sexual side of the A after tomorrow. We have both admitted to being in over our heads, not sure what's going to become of us, but I'm sure by Christmas we will be back at it again. The chatting isn't going to stop. We've attempted to slow it down, always seems to catch back up to us. We've spent a lot of time together this week and I think it's only caused our feelings to run deeper.
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