And the Pull Away begins....
Find a Conversation
And the Pull Away begins....
| Tue, 09-28-2010 - 4:26pm |
I don't know why I do this to myself...I finally get my single AP to come around again, and for a few brief days we talk, have lunch, then a GREAT night last night - dinner, out for a drink...then we only had the car....so I performed on him (sorry

When you say this:
GUYS - why, oh why do you do this?!?!?
They do it because, when they want a little sex again and they come around, you allow it. So there's no reason to treat you right when you allow them to be so disrespectful.
Really think about this. This isn't the usual "pull away because of guilt". He's single and you're getting separated. This is "pull away because we just got physical and I don't want her to think this is anything serious!" He probably likes you, but not as a potential g/f. I know this is hard and I'm sorry if I seem harsh. I just wish you wouldn't keep allowing him to make you feel so bad!
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Hi Live,
I am sorry you feel bad.. as you should.. though I am a male, I felt bad reading what you went through..
Actually, I think he's not an honorable person. Regardless of whether it's an A or not, like Lexi said, if he intends this to be only a friendship, he should not get it past that.. ever.. even if he's the horniest guy in the world.. it's just not right..
No, you can't change his mind.. but, you can let him know that he's hurting you by acting this way, and that he needs to own up to it. And if it is not you, he should stop hurting the next woman he's gonna be with. Whether he'll get the message or not, that's a different story.. but, you really need to get him to understand that he's being hurtful..
And, maybe that understanding will lessen your pain a little bit.. or, that if you see that he's still being defensive or dense about the whole thing, you'll get a better picture of the kind of person he is..
--
Thanks so much for your concern and advice....I really appreciate it. So where do I go from here? Ignore him? Tell him how I feel? Being a man it would be a good perspective on the game plan....I would be lying if I didn't admit I hope to get him to change his mind, although I do realize that is VERY unlikely. Actually, I feel like it isn't ME, that it's something with him...he was hurt very badly in his previous relationship - she cheated on him, he took her back...and two years later she cheated again. His friends tell me she really did a number on him, and he is very guarded because of it....doesn't let anyone too close. Believe it or not she lives with him right now because her house sold quickly and is in between houses...they have 13 year old together but were never married. Apparently she has a boyfriend - I am fairly sure there is nothing going on between the two of them now, but I wonder if maybe he still loves her.
Thanks again...if you have any ideas on how I should progress from here - I'm all ears. It was very nice of you to respond to my post.
Lexi-
I appreciate the strong words and when someone posts here - I truly think they are looking for an "unfogged" perspective - so I welcome the advice and reality check, even though it does hurt a little. Just when I think he is "not that into me" he'll do things like check-in for no reason or just call to chat....then that leads to the dates, etc...and he pulls away again. I think he is still getting over his ex, so I while on one hand I get angry and feel used and think I should maybe ignore him, on the other, I think a lot of his behavior is more about HIM and not necessarily me. We seem to have a blast together and the attraction is definitely there...so part of me thinks I should give him the time and space he needs too. Not sure where to go from here really.
Thanks again....you are truly a gift to this board and it's posters/lurkers.
I share your pain. My AP wanted me badly last week, would have walked on coals to see me, but is too busy for any text or messages this week. I hate it. (I didn't see him last week either..kind of glad I didn't because it would have made this separation time harder...I feel like I need him/the comfort).
Thanks for sharing. You truly are not alone