He wants me more often...meaning?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
He wants me more often...meaning?!
9
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 2:33am

Ok so my PA is someone i've known for a long time only in the past few months we've made it a regular PA (he's married too). We meet for drinks, dinner and sex...but the thing is...I'm starting to feel a bond...not love but something that may be heading in that direction? I dunno. I just want to know what it means that he wants to meet more often. Is he liking me more too? He doesn't show too much emotion. He is very careful in that way. After S he just ups and leaves pretty quickly. When he emails me he is very short....but I sense something behind it all. He talks about when we knew each other in college. He plays old music. He communicates with me through facebook with song lyrics sometimes...(only I know he's directing it at me cause we have a couple of songs that are "ours") He does share stuff about his life...family, son, work.



It took him 13 days since our last meeting to ask me too meet up again. Before that it took him a month. Before that a month and a half. The sex is amazing...so is that all I am? I think he's happy in his marriage? Am I falling in love? My husband and I are in a bad place...am I just looking for an escape? I want to feel love again...and I want this man to fall in love with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2008
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 11:54am
sounds too me like lust more than love. if he is wanting you more Sexually, thats the meaning of lust. but he does seem to have some characteristic of a romantic w/ the song lyrics. i do believe lust can turn into love... of course this is just all an opinion either way be safe, have fun & enjoy your time w/ your AP.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 1:55pm
He sees you more often because he enjoys your company & what ever else you are providing him at this point in time. I think its possible he can be having deeper feelings for you and wants to be with you as much as he can. I'd enjoy it for what it is & just go with the flow. I wouldn't try to analyze it to much, it will only drive you crazy.

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 2:01pm
Really???? Is that what you think??? He's clearly using her for s*x and she shouldn't allow herself to think otherwise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 2:22pm

Hi Myrasfriend,



That's why I said it could be a possibility he is having more feelings for her...who knows in these affairs

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 3:17pm
Well I guess this is why it's so confusing. I'm not an idiot. I understand I'm having sex with a man...but he is having sex with me too. In other words, I'm using him for the same. The only thing that makes this simple equation confusing is the fact that sometimes feelings start to change. i don't care if you're a woman or a man...feelings can develop. I just want to know if there are clues....and what are they in this situation? I am usually perceptive but in an A it's harder to tell because it's complicated!! Guilt comes into play...etc.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 3:28pm
I know all to well about feelings developing &

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2004
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 7:30pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 10:16pm
Oh devora you sound just like me. I totally understand where you are coming from regarding the lack of s.x and passion in a marriage. I completely understand you. Of course you are developing something for him, but he is not too emotional you said (or something like that), I would just wait a few more meetings then come right out and ask him what you mean to him? Just a nice time?
I understand you probably want to be more than a piece of a.. to him, I had to tell my AP the same thing "I want to know that I am more than sex to you..that I am a person you enjoy being with out of bed also" I would wait though, sometimes as women our feelings get so in the way of things.
Or you could do as another poster suggested and just enjoy the ride.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 10:48pm

I'm with you, Pink! It is interesting to start delving deeper to figure out why these men obsess us so, but it never seems to actually help me make and sane decisions...lol.