getting tired of the wondering

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
getting tired of the wondering
4
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 7:15pm
I am where AP is as we have a LDR. I arrived this afternoon. We have not seen each other in 2 weeks and before that it was 3 1/2 months. I talked with him last night via IM (that is only way we communicate). I asked if he was going to be around today and he said yes. I told him I would arrive around 2 and he could come over after that. He signed off and said ok. Have not heard from him even though I immed and told him I had arrived and he can see I am on and I see he was able to post something on Facebook 15 minutes ago (he doesnt know I look,we are not friends on there) yet he hasnt contacted me. Big slap in the face. Now, as usual, my feelings are hurt because it tells me straight out he doesn't really care. I went invisible because of it and am really pissed off. I end up always feeling like my feelings do not matter. I thought for sure he was making more of an effort but obviously not. I wish so bad I could just stop thinking about him or caring at all. Just needed to vent. This is one of the reasons A's are so bad. We always seem to get hurt! I want to take my life back. Sick of it being centered around him (he has no idea about that) and being let down time and time again. I know what the answer is but so much easier said than done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 7:57pm

What you saw that he posted on Facebook - was it a status update or a comment on someone else's status update? OR was it one of those things that say "so and so LIKES something or other". Because I did one of those "like" thingys once, and Facebook started posting it willy nilly whenever it felt like it. I was on my way over to my OM's house and he saw on Facebook that I posted I "liked" something around the time I should have been there and I think he was upset thinking I was still messing around on the computer (he's a 35 min. drive away). Then I showed up 5 min. later, I had been nowhere near a computer!

If it wasn't that, I know exactly how you must feel sweetie. I'm sorry!! I hope you manage to find the strength to do what you think you should. I know, as you say, easier said than done. (((HUGS)))

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You've

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 8:09pm
Thanks Lexi-no he wrote something on his wall under a status update of his that people commented on. He has been obsessed within the last week and a half ALL OF A SUDDEN about animal rights and not eating meat and posting lots of things from the web about it. I have NO idea where this has come from but he had the time to post a comment about that and made no effort to contact me and could see I was online because I saw he was invisible on his IM so he was signed in to his email/IM. Lets me know where I stand and yeah it hurts. Not the first time Ive seen him do this and it seemed he was getting better. I am not here for long periods of time alone so you'd think he'd want to see me. Another slap. My face is stinging from it. Not sure whether to not let him see me online for several days or what. He is oblivious of course that I even know this is going on and probably isn't even thinking about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 11:52pm

Personally, I'd tell him you're sick of him treating you like this and let him know he can take a hike.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2009
Thu, 09-30-2010 - 8:39am
Thanks another's! I feel exactly as you stated! I am only here for a short time and you show no effort to see me.He did come on much later (even though I was invisible) and asked how my flight was................then sporadically for another few minutes barely said much so I told him I was tired and going to bed. Never said a word about seeing me. He told me he wanted to show me something about chickens tomorrow (today). Seriously??? He has been brainwashed by someone and now it is all he will talk about. I've already told him (very nicely) that I do not want to discuss it anymore, that our opinions differ and I respect his. I do not want a relationship where all he focuses on is being vegan (all of a sudden!). It doesn't bother me, the vegan part, what bothers me is he is SO obsessed. Ive never seen this in him, it is something new and frankly it scares me a little that he jumps in full speed ahead and is so vehement and opinionated. I guess I'll see how it goes but definitely getting a bit bothered and turned off. If all he can think about is being vegan and showing people how awful it is to eat meat, well then Ive been replaced by a vegetable! Maybe it's a good thing in reality. have to say Ive never had this problem before!!!!