Now what??
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 09-30-2010 - 11:11am |
I'm not sure if I belong here anymore, I guess it's too early to tell.
AP and I supposedly ended the physical part of our relationship a few days ago. Before he left he said we would still talk and hang out but no sex. We usually talk every day if not by chat at least by email. He said he would talk to me in a few days and we'd still talk a couple times this week. I really thought this would bother me but with my family coming back I honestly haven't given it much thought. If it wasn't for the dreams I would be taking things really easy. I guess because I know he's not going anywhere, I want to give him the space he needs to, as well as me to get my head straightened out.
He phoned me an hour after he left to make sure I was alright and not falling asleep since I had a long drive to make that night. We talked for a few minutes but that was it. I emailed him when I got there so he knew I made it and everything was good. I figured after that I would wait for him to contact me. It didn't take long, he emailed me first thing this morning to see how I was and wants to chat at lunchtime. He had pulled away a bit before we agreed to stop, I know his reasoning is to make things easier on me because I am the one that really wanted things to be different when they couldn't. I think now that he knows I am handling it well he's having second thoughts. I'm not sure if I"m happy about that or not. I can't handle the ups and downs. We haven't had many of them in the last few months but I have self inflicted ones. I don't know if I want to go back to that. I do love him and always will but first and foremost comes the friendship. I think the only way I want to get involved again is if he is going to leave his wife. We got away with it so far, I don't want to go back to the sneaking around.

Hi Lost, I'm wishing you well on your journey. I don't see why you can't continue posting here because although the PA stopped you still are in an EA with him. To be honest I really don't think its over between you two at all. I think its just a phase, he's stepping back to try and get some clarity but he will be back. If he continues to keep in contact with you the likelihood of that happening is very high. I know on EAS you'd have to cut off ALL TIES to AP. Not emailing, text, IM, chatting over the phone~ NONE. I don't think you both will be able to do that so keep posting here.
Wishing you much love & strength.
Much peace & Love,
Rayne
<
Are you SW? Keep your options open though!
" ....I"m trying to work on my marriage right now, I can't go forward and backwards again.."
ok , in your previous posts I thought you were planning to leave your H for AP ? is that plan still there ?
anotherseyes