I was feeling OK, sorta....triggers

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
I was feeling OK, sorta....triggers
4
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 7:26pm

....until I got my cell phone bill...my older DD ran up an extra $105 on the bill, downloading ringtones and wallpapers. And the rub is that this is the third, no fourth time she's run up the bill. I've taken the phone away permanently. I trusted her and she just...well you know. She's upstairs sulking about how unfair I am. I can't get her to behave, she just keeps testing the limits until they break.

I feel like a lousy parent and I want to SI....

And I've been digging deep into what I am...What am I anyway?

Bipolar with Disociative tendencies or a DD NOS with Bipolar tendencies? Or none of it...just defective...

That's it I am defective...I can't even fit into a diagnosis properly...

Hugs all around.

Rowan

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 7:32pm

((((Rowan)))) I can't remember, was your name Karen? Anyway. Lots of hugs! I'm so sorry that you feel this way. You are definately not a bad parent. Boundaries are an essential part of parenting. You did exactly what you had to do.

You are not defective. No one *really* fits any textbook definition exactly, in my opinion. As has been said before, who cares what the diagnosis is as long as we get the symptoms treated.

Keep safe. I wish I could be there to hold you and take away your pain.

Love,

Amamda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-08-2005 - 10:13pm

Hi, Rowan (Karen), I really hope you managed to stay safe...you aren't a bad parent... sometimes kids just don't listen regardless of what you say or do.

I can definitely relate to your feeling of not fitting into a diagnosis right and not even being ill "right"! I know those thoughts aren't productive, but it's still hard to avoid them. But as Amanda said, it's most important that your symptoms get treated, regardless of the specific name for what's going on.

Hang in there,

Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 03-09-2005 - 8:34am

Rowan, my beautiful friend...if you are a BAD PARENT, then so AM I!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 11:35am

Thank you so much friends! You brought tears (good tears) to my eyes about how much you all are willing to support me. Whatever it is I have....I feel lonely a lot and forget there are others like me...

Hugs,
Rowan (Karen)