New here

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
New here
3
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 4:21pm

I don't know if I've posted here before, but now seems like the time if I haven't. I am a 35 yo BP living alone in central Ohio. I was diagnosed about 10 months ago, but it was too late to save my marriage. We are dating right now, so that is good, but because of employment needs, I am 2.5 hours away. I am away from my xh and my three teenage daughters and I can't stand it. I sit alone at night sewing and crocheting and such, but it doesn't fill the void. Sometimes it helps if I go out shopping so I'm at least among people, but then again, spending was one of my problem areas, so I have to be very careful. I can't really go out with anyone from work because most of them are men, and well, that was another of my problem areas. I feel like anything that could reduce the loneliness and depression is out of the question because of my "abnormalities". I'm afraid it will get to be too much for me and I won't be able to do anything to protect myself because I have no health insurance. I was told that I am uninsurable, unless I get a job where group coverage is offered.

Anyway...such is my life. Thanks for letting me vent.

~Dawn

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: kewldoodler
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 5:15pm

Dawn,


Welcome to the board--I'm glad you found us, this is a great group of folks and a wonderful place of support!


I know only so well what you mean about filling the void--I'm a crafter from WAAAY back and a SHOPPER, so I really have to watch it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: kewldoodler
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 8:40am

Hi Dawn and welcome!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
In reply to: kewldoodler
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 1:00pm

I do receive treatment, although I pay for it out of my pocket. I have gone without the therapy portion, instead opting for the psychiatrist/meds, which I see as the more important of the two. (I would get the therapy too if I could afford it.) Yes, it costs me. Luckily I have the finances to do so. That's also part of the problem. I make too much money to qualify for state programs. So I make do, and hope to God that nothing bad happens to me. If I were to get sick or need to see a doctor for any other reason, I'd be screwed. I was thinking of checking myself into the hospital if I felt suicidal, but the fact is that I can't afford it! I've made some progress with my finances since I started receiving treatment, and that would put me back, even before square one. If I did that, it would keep me alive, but at the same time it would make me even more depressed. So which is worse?? I'm not sure.

~Dawn