major trig view with discretion

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
major trig view with discretion
14
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 7:23pm

I've been manic all day. ive done something terrible. im so ashamed of my self. i contacted an old boyfriend and started something i shouldnt have. i don't know how to say this but i wanted to have sex with him in the worst way. we ended having cybersex. all the old feelings are creeping back where i want to have sex all the time....but not with my DH. im so embarrased. i don't know if we can talk about these things here. ive never seen a post like this.

it got so bad i started ordering all these clothes from catalogues i mean alot of stuff, just to take the edge off. needless to say, now he wants to see me and have sex. i want to so bad. i love my DH and could never hurt him that way but its getting hard to control.

thats my story. i hope i didn't offend anyone. im so wound up even a sedative didnt help. i will say that i didn't make any plans to be with him but im sure u can imagine how frustrated i am. gee whiz what to do what to do!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 2:51pm

(((Valerie))), I didn't mean to imply that it's all a matter of choice, because I know full well it isn't. I'm sorry if I came across that way. I know that if it were, you would have an easier time making this decision.

Gee, isn't this BP thing a barrel of laughs?? (NOT)

~Dawn

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 2:56pm

you are absolutely correct. after my last email i called and cancelled what i could. as for "S" ive taken him off my mailing list. i havent heard from him all day which is a good thing. i consider you guys my support system and i thank you for talking some sense into me. its will be hard but at least i wont be getting any more emails from him.

the sedative has kicked in so i see things much more clearly now. i love my DH and nothing is gonna risk that. he's taken care of me through all the years of my craziness and im sure no other man would have stood by me this long.

thank you all. you know if i can be any service to any of you just email me omeomi_9@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 3:45pm

You go girl!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 4:12pm

Major Hugs, dear.

What you all are talking about is called Hypersexuality and is listed as one of the symptoms of BP in scholarly articles and such.

I can't really add much that hasn't been said already...It's all great advice.

I have and am experiencing hypomania right now....it is not fun to experience it w/o a partner to take the edge off. Please try to direct those energies into fantasy and your SO.

AND CALL YOUR TDOC/PDOC!

Hugs,
Rowan

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