Dh & Denial.............(trigger?)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Dh & Denial.............(trigger?)
6
Wed, 03-16-2005 - 5:34pm

How do I get him to understand that this is a part of me and that I'm still "ok" even though I've been dx bipolar 1.


He seems withdrawn from me, I don't feel that he is helping me any, if anything he is hurting me and he doesn't even see it. When I try to talk to him about it he is evasive and I don't feel that he is understanding. I'm pretty upset w/ him about now. I just want him to treat me like he used to and now I feel like he avoids me like the plague. He was all cool and on board when the p/tdoc gave the dx which he was there for.

Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 8:08am

Hi Danielle,


I can relate to what you're going through and I'll tell you what I've figured out...lol...people don't UNDERSTAND anything about being BP, so its really hard sometimes for them to "deal" with us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 8:22am

Thanks for your thoughts Keli, it's been hard.


I've been a real nasty female dog the past couple of days, I"m not sure what that is about. I'm just really grumpy. I'm sleeping at night for the most part so I don't think it's lack of sleep although I have started getting up at that magical 4am again, not sure why and I'm tired in the morning, just don't want to get up.


I'm still learning about bp myself and am a bit confused abotu the mixed state. Am I

Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2003
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 10:23am

Hi Danielle,

One surefire way to help dh understand bp is to give him literature. Not so much literature ON bp, but lit on life for spouses of people with bp. Believe me if one of us has it the other has it too, just on a different level *so to speak*. It becomes so hard for our spouses not to take on our pain and suffering as their own sometimes, that they to almost become afflicted with our illness. I watched it happen to my dh and this is why I'm saying this. The bad thing is that he never learned what life with a bp'er is like and how to cope and handle situations. Granted, in alot of situations he did really well, but in alot of others he made the exact opposite decision or chose to ignore me all together.

It doesn't help matters at all that men tend to handle situations so much more differently than women do either. What may just be him sorting things out in his brain may indeed look like that baby attitude to you. It's hard to say. But none the less, it will benefit you both and help your marriage grow and prosper in the RIGHT way if you get him info on his end bipolar disorder and not just your end of it all.

So check out your local book store, or amazon.com and see what's what.

My best of luck to you.

Love and Light,

~Teri~

The Worlds A Roller Coaster

And I Am Not Strapped In

Maybe I Should Hold With Care

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 11:07am

It could very well be a mixed state...or maybe its just a dysphoric episode...when I am in a mixed state, I am VERY irritable, but hyper....anxious as heck...and my thoughts race like CRAZY...those are just the "biggies".

Avatar for cla3a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 3:00pm

Hi Danielle,


I am sorry to hear that you are struggling right now. I agree with the other ladies. Educate yourself then him. He might not want to do it right away. I know my DH didn't. But now he is more involved in my care.(Talks with my Pdoc on the phone and knows how to reach him if something is going on with me.) He knows what meds are for what and can identify them on sight. It is not something that happens overnight. It took years to get where we are now. So, just hang in there.


It sounds like you are in a mixed state. It is common,

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-17-2005 - 5:02pm

Thanks Cyn & Keli


I am down, slow moving and VERY VERY irritable, I'm just down right nasty for no apparent reason. I don't like being like this. It blows : (


I'll do some more research when I feel up to it. The only thing I have managed to do is read today and that has even been hard, no concentration today. I'm just in a low ugly nasty place and I don't knowwhy. I thought the seroquel was supposed to basically cover all of the bases of the moods in this, maybe I'm wrong there. I don't know, I just don't know anything right now.

Hugs & Prayers,


Danielle


Hysterectomy & Alternatives


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhhyster


"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown

Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,