Why am I still surprised? Long :0)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Why am I still surprised? Long :0)
6
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 9:44pm

Hi everyone! So happy the board is back, although I'm not really sure that I'm liking the "upgrade" yet. Hopefully I'll get the hang of it soon and it won't feel so unfamiliar.

I had a great week working for AP last week. He invited me out to dinner a couple of the nights, and he let me know that the quality of work I was doing was very good....which I appreciated. There were a couple of nights where I went home, and he went home....not a problem whatsoever. Then Friday arrived.

It was payday, and the guy that was also working for AP left about an hour before we did. On his way out the door I heard him say to AP, see you soon....by which I assumed meant see you at the bar. I had already assumed that he would go, he usually does....what I didn't expect was to not be invited! I told him I was going home, and after stopping to see my landlord...that's what I did. I mean after all, what vibrant, good-looking, single

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Wed, 10-06-2010 - 10:30pm

Hi Benska, Sorry youre having such a hard time. I agree with you that there is alot of childish high school behavior going on there. I hope everything settles down for you soon. Do you have friends you can go out with and just relax and enjoy being out and having fun? A few good girls night outs is what you need!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 12:13am
Thanks tangled...no worries, it's what I've chosen. I'm honest enough with myself to at least admit that, while his behavior sucks....it's obviously not bad enough crap to move on.

I don't really know if it's because I'm just so afraid of being alone that I put up with it, or if it's because I really do love him...in which case to me, that means loving the warts and all. The latter of course, is the story I tell myself more often :-(

As far as going out with girlfriends, I do that on occasion, but they are mostly occupied with their work & families. Also, right now I don't have the money for a girls night out (when I talk about going to the pub, I never have more than 2 and/or my AP buys). Also, for some reason we end up talking about my problems, even though I try hard not to get on to that subject.

Until I'm ready to let go of this R, this absolutely joyful and sometimes infernal R that is going absolutely nowhere, I really have no right to complain. I do wish I didn't let him get to me. I would love to be calm, cool, and collected....I know for a fact that it would totally freak him right out. I bet you the squirrels would start scurrying in his head!

I think I learned this weekend that I do have the ability stop myself from doing something I know I shouldn't, such as texting him when I should just go as cold and as silent as he does. That's what I have to remember, with all that I am, the next time he pulls this. I also know that it's a matter of when, and not if, he pulls this kind of behavior again.

Oh yeah!!! I'm sick that I forgot, but I did have a lovely day last Saturday. My son and his family...which means my granddaughter :-) came to town and had an old family friend, who's also a photgrapher, do some candid shots of them in the fall colors (I live in the mountains). He invited me to come along and get a shot done with the baby, well...she's actually more like 2 1/2 now, so I did. I went back to my friends studio with her where I got to see the pictures a little better, and there were some pretty good shots....and at least one really good one of the two of us! I am very excited about that and can't wait to get one that I can frame for my dresser :-) She's so darn cute, and it made me feel extraordinarily good when it was clear she knows/remembers who I am. Unfortunately I don't get to see her as often as I wish I could.

It ain't all bad.

benska
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 7:11am

I'm so happy you got to see your granddaughter!

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 9:41am

Oh Im betting those candid pictures are lovely!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 12:41pm
Thx lexi, she's about an hour or so away....but it's difficult to coordinate schedules sometimes...not to mention gas. I know they seem like lame excuses, and as much as I'd love to see her whenever the mood strikes...which is often, somehow I think I need food more :0)

At least now I know that she hasn't forgotten her Nana!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 12:43pm
Yeah, I'm sure they're going to be! We went up to the top of town and got a spectacular view of a famous trio of peaks where we live...and the fall colors were spectacular.

I think, out of what I saw, I like the one where the three of them are walking/skipping away from the camera...all holding hands :0) So sweet