New to boards-Triggers maybe?
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New to boards-Triggers maybe?
| Tue, 03-22-2005 - 11:55pm |
Hi, I am new to the boards and I look forward to getting to know you guys. I do hope I have found a nice supportive atmosphere. I have not been diagnosed as of yet with bp although my family doctor had diagnosed depression and had me on Lexapro. This was working great for my depression but with the racing thoughts and anxiety attacks and major mood swings she put me on Symbyax. I went to her today and had most of the signs of bp so she has made me an appointment with a pychologist for next week. The problem I am having lately is that I can not seem to make myself do anything. I either don't sleep at all or do sleep too much. I have panic attacks about going or doing just about everything! I am so tired of putting on a pretend face that conveys everything is ok...I have been doing that for so long and inside I just feel like I am losing it! Everything stresses me totally out. One minute I am isolating myself and the next minute I am calling everyone in my family to talk and try to make sense out of things. I ended up in tears in the doctor's office today. I was trying to explain to her that I was having trouble doing anything outside my home and it was almost like she thought I was lying or trying to get her to give me work excuses. She even said there was NOWAY she would ever say I could not work. She asked me how the new meds were doing and I told her they made me very sleepy within an hour after taking them and that in the morning I felt a bit loopy even taking them at 7pm. She pretty much came right out and said that wasn't possible. I finally broke down in tears. She left the room and came back and I tried to explain to her it is not that I DON'T want to do things, I do! I do so bad, I want to be able to work and go places and do the things I used to do. I can not say exactly WHY I can't seem too or what brings on the panic attacks. I am just so tired of feeling this way. I know many of you can probably relate. Everything feels so unorganized and out of place. Kinda like the way I feel most of the time. I even went home and thought about just throwing the meds away! I know I can't do that. I am hanging in there until next week when I see the new doctor. I sure hope she can help me get a bit of insight into all of this.

Honey...can I relate!
Hey Keli,
Thanks for replying, I think I just needed to have some of my feelings validated and I needed a good vent also. Plus I know I need to find a good place for support. My dh has been handling all of this so well all things considered. One good thing about these meds, I have got some housework done and when I am not sleepy or loopy I have energy which is a new thing for me. I had gained 10 pounds since she changed my meds though so hopefully my energy will carry over into exercise! I was so upset yesterday when I got home I hit the treadmill and then tore my bedroom apart cleaning it. So some good came out of yesterday.
Way to go with finding the postive out of yesterday, girl!
I'm glad you found us--I think you will find this is a wonderful group of folks and a great place of support!
Your family doctor has been making one of the biggest mistakes I can think of and that's treating a mental illness without a REAL understanding of what she's doing.
I faced a similar situation with my family doctor.