The Land of Confusion

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
The Land of Confusion
22
Thu, 10-07-2010 - 11:48pm

OK, I know what a big part of my problem is: I think and think and think too much.

anotherseyes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:23am

I don't know why you haven't seen me before we live in the same place, the Land of Confusion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 9:02am

I could have written your post!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 11:47am
Actually Tdalways here (I've had alot of problems logging on so I have to use my old loggon). I couldn't have written your post better myself! I question "the rest of my life" myself...that's a long time with only vanilla (which I love the reference) and it can get quite lonely and depressing emotionally. But I want to ask you...if AP considers it "friends with" does he also feel this same connection with you and do you foster that connection through your communication? For myself, I feel that deep connection with my AP and he has stated that we have something unlike any other...however he still maintains a distance far from what we were in the beginning (before dday) and that has been very difficult emotionally for me. Breaking point sometimes!...or should I say "breakdown" :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:26pm
tangledmess wrote:

Forgive me if you've already posted this, but I cant remember what ive read from whom,

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:35pm
tnsnew wrote:
But I want to ask you...if AP considers it "friends with" does he also feel this same connection with you and do you foster that connection through your communication?

Actually, AP doesn't like to put a label on us at all.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2003
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 12:39pm

Another, I'm sorry for the confusion that you're feeling right now. Even though it's been a while, I remember feeling exactly the same way.

I loved my husband, we had a wonderful R for the longest time. We laughed so much together, did so many things together....he was almost perfect. But, like you, something was missing. Then AP came into my life, and I realized how much I needed him in my life.

I'm not even sure I got to the point in my thoughts, that you are reaching. Thinking back, if I had remained with my H....yes, life would have been pretty vanilla. Perhaps I would have been able to forget about AP, in time, but the sheer enormity of the feelings I had for him would not allow me to settle for anything less. Even if we broke up tomorrow, I wouldn't regret a second of it.

It's pretty tempestuous, yes...but he brings so much to my life, I don't think I would have it any other way.

That's not to say that I don't still sometimes wrestle with the decision I've made. I could have had a decent life with my H, but as you say, nothing spectacular. Instead I have this wonderful love connection with a man that will always be in my heart....yet a man who's not going to leave his W. Just like you and your AP.

I have no idea what I'm trying to say, except that I really feel for you and I truly do understand how you're feeling. I hope that whatever

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 3:17pm

This is my first post since the boards have upgraded.It looks funny !!

Another,yours was the first post I saw and the only feeling I get from your most recent and previous posts is ,that you and your AP might be together for many years to come.Your posts ooze your love for him and luckily,its receprocated.You are one lucky chick :smileywink:

You may stay in the A status or move into more real or more socially accepted relationship but i dont see any end to your A.

I recently read an article in the newspaper ( I am old fashioned and still read the hard paper !lol ) about an A between a MW and SM that continued for more than half their lives.Their photo too was in there.They were business partners ,hence the article.No one except a couple of close people knew about them and it all came to light when very surprisingly they tragically died and old papers were dug up.The woman met with an accident and the guy had an unnatural death soon after! It was heart breaking.I will try to find it online but I fall in 'old' category who is not so computer literate !!

Another,like you said,you guys do seem to be meant for each other but tragically arent at the right place at the right time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 4:48pm

I dislike all the thinking, analyzing, wondering, and just all

 


Much peace & Love,


Rayne


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 5:02pm

We're all confused a lot, Another, but we're all doing what we have to do to get from one day to the next.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2010
Fri, 10-08-2010 - 6:09pm

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