Constant triggs this week but doing good

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2004
Constant triggs this week but doing good
2
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 7:58am

Just checking in!

In the middle of doing a play this week (Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead for those theatre buffs out there) which is great. It's nice to know that through it all I can go ahead and continue to do the things I love.

Problem is of course the d'ex is still working at the theatre parttime in the box office (where we met of course) and everyday it's a constant panic attack getting in the bulding to do my show because I have to pass said box office to get to the backstage. It was extremely bad on Saturday because that was our long rehearsal and that's the day he works. I had to call the local crisis line because I was loosing it the night before and I really was scared that if the cirumstances were right, the only exit would have been devistating for not only me, but for the entire cast of my play.

The thing that really gets me about it all is when I try to discuss it with some of my friends, they all tell me to get over it, move on and he can't hurt me and yet, what I'm experiencing is completely different than that. I'm over him and I know he can't hurt me...tell that to the part of me that remembers that pain as vividly as the day it started...then tell it to the rest of the illness that won't let me drop it. But despite it all, there are friends there who do sort of understand to the best of their ablity and are trying to help me work through it. They help me get through the hardest doors in the building.

Anyway, things are OK now. The good news is I'm going out to film a county council with a guy I really like in my class. ;) And tomorrow, I'll be seeing my pdoc...maybe discuss with him the problems I've been having over the past two weeks with the d'ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 9:40am

OMG - I love Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead!!! The movie version with Gary Oldman is one of my all time favorite shows to watch!

Hang in there, you will get past the pain associated with your ex...even if it takes some time. I am proud of you for not giving in to the panic and continuing to live YOUR life. Don't let him control your actions!!!

Have a great time on your "filming excursion".

Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Wed, 04-06-2005 - 11:35am

KUDOS to you for hanging in there & not letting the possibility of running into the ex keep you from doing something you love!