My pdoc visit last night
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| Thu, 04-21-2005 - 11:17am |
Well, first thank you all for the hugs and love, I felt them all the way here in WV.
I went as soon as I got off work, and I was there before 5:30 (bus picked me up at 20 after). Well I waited until 6:45-6:50 to see him. The entire time I was crying in the waiting room or the restroom. I was alone in the room he had a young beautiful suicidal girl in with him. Those walls are thin when you yell. Well finally he came in and he first was on the offensive because I reemed his answering service and he ended up telling me that he would speak to them, if he didn't like what they said then he'd fire them and get one set up with the hospital. Which I will know on my next call if he did, they answer it with the hospitals name, my PCP uses the hospital service.
OKAY...sorry. He said I was a mess, which I knew and that we would work through this and I would be stable sooner than later. He was VERY compassionate and boy did he listen. I did ask for a therapist and he set me up for an appointment the next time I see him with a lady in his office, the date, my anniversary with my exhusband. When he told me the date I balled. I have serious closure/moving on issues that I need to work through. Abuse can last so much longer than just the minute they leave. I'm still dealing with too many issues with him. But he went on to say that he knows for sure w/o a doubt that I am bipolar 1 with severe rapid cycling/mixed episodes. One good note, though it exhausts me...he got to see that for himself, he came over and kneeled in front of me and took my shaking hands and said he was going to help me. Lets see, I really can't remember what was said other than the stuff I told him. He put me on new meds, well he changed one, took the vistaril away, it never helped anyway and gave me a new med. Here is what I take now:
Paxil 40mg/day (down from 50mg)
Trazodone 100mg/day (same)
Lamictal 100mg/day (new, I'm on 25mg/day for 2 weeks, then 50/mg for 2wks, then 100
I'm not sure what the lamictal is, I've read some posts with it in it, but since I had never taken it I never knew really what it is. I'll do some research on it, but I hope it is a mood stabilizer and I don't get that deadly rash. I'm totally broken out literally from head to toe (hurts to wash my hair, but I do it) with a nerve rash so I'm waiting to see if I can take some benedryl for it. I'm scared to death of taking a tylenol on bp meds, seriously because of the interactions some cause. I know with the trazodone that I can't have grapefruit juice, which really doesn't bother me, I like it but can live w/o it.
Well.....I've probably forgotten to tell yall stuff, but if I remember I'll let ya know.
Wish me luck on the new "cocktail". I just have a feeling this will help. I just hope the combo doesn't cause weight gain because I haven't been able to lose the weight the seroquel put on me, haven't gained anymore but still I'm well over 50# to heavy, at least 30#.
Well....I'm going to the potty and then down to smoke a cigarette. I'm feeling better today, but not much. Still crying at the drop of a hat and talking non stop. I hate mixed episodes. It really makes me feel like I'm going mad. I keep thinking had I been alive in the 30's or 40's (era I adore for the clothes, hairstyles and movies, not the war) they would have put me in an institution and put shock waves through my brain like they did Vivian Leigh and several other stars of that era. I'm just glad that science has progressed over the past 60-70 years.
Well...I love you each and everyone!!!!! Pdoc said that this is the place I really need when I told him about you all. Sorry for rambling.....
HUGS!!!!
Carla

Carla,
Lamictal is a mood stablizer and I've heard good things about it.
((( Carla )))
I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your posts. I'm sure that sounds funny but hopefully you know what I mean. Thanks for the updates.
Vista
Thank you both. I feel SO MUCH better today, not as bad anyway, not "normal Carla" but I am dealing okay. Pdoc did tell me since I was taking the lamictal gradually it would take a while to work, but I'm ready to see. I am scared about the rash. I literally have what pdoc called a nerve rash. But I've had it since xdh left. I think internally I am beating myself up since he isn't there to do it. I don't know, I'm grasping straws there.
Well....I'm at work, I have to post something about this rash, I'm a big red dot, okay millions of red dots.
(((((HUGS)))))
Carla