Im terrified.....trig
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| Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:33pm |
i dont know if many of you know this but i have endometriosis and ive been in sever pain all month. i've also been very bloated to the point where i actually look like im 9 months pregnant. my stomach is so stretched that my belly button hurts and my lower abdomin is very sore. i go for an ultrasound on fri. and to my ob/gyn next tues. my primary care doc told me i have no choice but to have a complete hysterectomy. my ob/gyn says this surgery might kill me due to all the scarring. i dont have any choice i can't live like this. i cant fit any of my clothes because of my belly and ive gained 7 lbs due to the bloating.
i have a girlfriend who is very psychic i mean shes really really good and has never steered me wrong. i asked her how would the surgery turn out and at first she wouldn't tell me. i told her if im gonna die at least let me know so i can get my things in order. she goes on to say you should do that no matter what kind of surgery you have. she then says im not gonna tell you anything else. and of course, me being me, i pushed her and she says that she sees alot of blood like they are trying to stop some bleeding and all these alarms going off. then, she says that she saw my mother telling me its not my time and to go back. she basically said that im gonna have a near death experience.
now i know that only god can decide whether or not its time to go home and im praying that what she saw will not happen. im a nervous wreck, i can barely type. its funny, when you think constantly how much you want to kill yourself and when faced with the fact, all that goes away. I. DON'T. WANT. TO. DIE. my girlfriend was very upset with me when i asked her this question. matter of fact, she knew what i was gonna ask before i evern said anything and told me shes not saying anything. i kept pushing and pushing like an idiot now im sorry i did. please please please say a prayer for me. i will keep you all informed when the surgery is.
valerie

Valerie-
I have said a prayer for you. I will be thinking of you and looking for your update about the surgery and what the ob/gyn says. I know this is so scary for you. I feel bad you have to go through this. I will keep praying for you. Hang in there!
Like you said only God knows when it is your time to go home. Trust in him.
Tina~ Bless You
Hi Valerie,
I am sorry that you are in pain,and torn about what you should do about it. Listen to your doctors. Sit down and have a long conversation with them. If surgery is a option but not a good one, ask them to come up with something else. You can't go on being in pain forever. It just isn't right.
I have said a prayer for you. Take care, and let us know what the ob/gyn says.
Love, hugs,and prayers,
(((((Valerie)))))
I know your friend is special, and I believe in those types of things, but maybe she had a cold, or something and she wasn't "reading" you right. I hope that is the case. I agree you need to sit down and talk to them (the doctors) and make them spell it all out for you. It is your body and yours alone. Make them explain it all. There is so much medical mysteries, maybe they can do it with a laser.
I have endo also. I had surgery in 1991 to remove the scar tissue then. they told me it will grow back. I've lost two babies because of this hideous disease. I got pregnant in my tubes both times. Well, I've been pregnant 3 times total, but no babies.
I just hope that she was having an off day, someone else's vibes came through. Maybe that is possible. Ask your friend. She sounds gifted.
LOVE YOU!!!!
Carla
Carla, my friend is amazing! she is truly gifted. whenever someone says, thats crap, their all phonies, i just laugh cause i know the truth. she called me yesterday and told me she thought about it and i should be okay (hmmmm) she still sees the blood thing but she didnt bring up the near death experience again. im wondering if shes trying to hide the truth but i decided not to worry about it. if its gods will, what can i do? i did write a will though and hid it from DH. he would be furious if he knew what she said even though he uses her too if hes got a question. her BF was really upset when she told him what she said and so was my other friend rhonda. ive come to terms with it and im still gonna push to have a hysterectomy because i cant live like this much longer. it basically brings on most of my BP episodes and you wont believe how huge my stomach is. i went to my pain doc and got my med refilled but it makes me kind of sick to my stomach. at least it stops the pain. We too tried to have a baby but just like you, it just wasnt gonna happen. ive never been pregnant.
i also have slight psychic abilities but too unsure of them to use them. only very select friends do i read and im pretty on target. i even read mel (the psychic friend)on occassion. it feels weird when she calls me for advice. she tells me that im very good but i have to have more confidence in my abilities.
ill keep you informed about the surgery. im praying that my gyn will say yes. i understand the risks and im willing to take them. like i said, i cant live like this much longer.
thanks so much for responding!
LOVE YOU TOO!!!!
valerie
valerie,
a friend of mine had surgery just about a year ago for endo and she said other than a little post-surgical pain, there was little pain involved afterwards. in fact, she was up and around - moving from one apartment to the other - preparing for company, planning parties, etc. within days afterward.
do keep us posted. we care about you very much.
hugs,
traci
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! i am sooo grateful for the women on this board! i've calmed down significantly just knowing i have so many people on this board that care about me! im also on the hysterectomy board, i just joined yesterday so i think i'm covered!!! still nervous but i think i got a handle on it. after all, its really not my decision to make is it? whether i live or die? but i strongly believe i'll be back on this board driving everybody nuts!! ( only kidding!)
thank you once again and i'll keep you posted.
valerie
I'm glad to hear that you're calmer today. My mother had a hysterectomy when I was 2, and she tells everyone that is about to have one the positives of a hysterectomy. Her positives are 1) She can wear white whenever she wants 2) she never has to worry about "starting" when she's not prepared 3) she can spend the money she would normally spend on feminie products on herself - lol 4) she doesn't have PMS, cramps or the headaches involved.
Hope this helps! :)