I'm miserable......pssbl triggers
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| Mon, 05-09-2005 - 10:38am |
I feel like I'm dying. I have for over a week now. My God I need help. I have calls into pdoc. He told me Friday that i would feel better by saturday. i feel worse and it is monday. my ears are ringing, feels like someone is covering them up. i'm so sick to my stomach, i can't even keep broth down. they asked me to commit to safety. i just couldn't yall. if i feel this bad now, if i get worse, i may end it all. it just isn't worth being this da** sick. the depression is severe, i feel awful. i can't put it into words just how miserable i am. i can't move my head w/o throwing up. every step i take feels like it will be the last. why put someone on something like this if it will make them gravely ill? makes no sense to me. i see him wednesday, if he thinks i'm going on anything else he has another thing coming. i refuse to set myself up for this again! i'd rather deal with bp on my own if it means feeling like this. i'm at the end of my rope. sorry for the way this is written.
I'm not a religious girl, i'm spiritual, but those who pray, please send some up for me. i'm scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carla

Carla:
Hang in there!! I know you think you could be dying from the withdrawl but it WILL get better. I know when Keli went off one of her meds (per pdoc) she was sick for about 2 months. But this will pay off for you. He is most likely trying to purge the meds from your system before resuming treatment so that there aren't any med interactions. It is going to be ok. Not all meds have this type of withdrawl. I know before I begin any of my meds I question my pdoc about withdrawl and side effects plus I research (usually on the mayoclinic.com site) the info they have.
From the time I have known you on the site, I don't think your pdoc has ever achieved full stability of your moods with you. Hopefully a new med regime (combined with your ex beign out of your house) will get you there. You may just be surprised - this tour through hades may be worth it for the stability you get! I know that if I had to walk through a lake of fire to maintain my stability, I would do it in a heartbeat.
Good luck and post as much as you need to so that you get through this. You WILL survive this!
Tracey
Carla,
First of all, I promise you...you aren't going to die.
Keli, I promise not to hurt myself! I just can't do this any more. My eyes are swollen and I'm at work. I keep running to the bathroom and getting sick, which is dry heaves now since I haven't got anything on my stomach. I can't eat, it just makes me sicker to think of food, were you like that too? Pdoc should call tonight, i'm seeing him on wednesday.
no time to go home, but i will try the baby steps. so far i have 3.5 hours here. i don't know why i want to go home, i'm just as miserable there.
i'll check in a little later.
love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carla