Not doing so well - privacy issues
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| Thu, 05-19-2005 - 11:53pm |
My mom woke me up this morning to tell me my dad routed through my purse to find my cell phone to stop th ringing travel alarm and found my ciggarettes in the process. Needless to say he wasn't pleased because as I was growing up, he always told me never to smoke, and I never, until six months ago when the stress got really bad and I snapped. I'm not a chain smoker by any means - one pack takes me more than a month to finish. When I started, I was of age to do so, so I'm not doing anything illegal. I know I have to quit, but a lot of un-wanted stress has really gone down in the past few weeks with a break and enter at work and a trip to Flordia that really should have helped, but was ruined by my dad's temper and utter child-like behaviour - and he says I'm too innocent to swear. It doesn't help that my pdoc has explained to me I'm in a depression. Now I have to worry about my privacy around my parents. The only reason I smoke, quite frankly, is because sometimes a ciggarette is the only thing that listens when I'm that down. My dad refuses to read up on my illness (or my mom for that mater, but at least she's not jumping to conclusions and semi-understands why I started smoking) or anything so for now, I'm pleading the Fith and not speaking until he stands up like a father and listens to what I have to say about what's been going on, my theorpy and this condition.
Thanks for listening everybody. I need everybody I can get.

I remember when my parents found out I smoked. I was probably nearly legal age when they found out. They never cared about that aspect. I got the "disappointed" garbage, and then, you have to smoke outside. They also don't understand that I should have "anything" to be stressed about, and have no idea about my dx's, let alone gotten any information about them.
I know where you're coming from. I don't have any advice, but I want you to know you're not alone and I am listening even if I an't come up with anything intelligent to say.
Love and hugs,
Amanda
When My Mom found my smokes, I was 19 (18 was legal in WV to buy then, not sure now) but she made me eat 1/2 the pack and smoke the rest back to back. I did it all. Of course she didn't make me eat the filters...BUT I still smoke. I have for over 18 years now. I know I need to quit, but I know what you mean about it listening to you. Man can I relate.
Tell your Dad.....at least you aren't smoking pot! He needs to realize it could be much worse than it actually is.
Mom found my birth control too. WHEW, thought I was going to die that day. Instead of whipping me she literally kicked my sister-in-law's butt. =o) I wasn't foolin' around either, it was for painful periods. When I talked to Mom about them she told me to be a woman. I still have horrible pain and way too much blood (sorry for TMI). Sometimes I wish people could put themselves in our shoes before they pass judgement. My SIL helped me out, while on those tiny pills I had a normal life and normal cycle. Didn't last once Mom caught on. She was scared it would give me the "right" to mess around. NOPE. I was still a good girl.
We're here for you.
(((((HUGS)))))
Carla
Wow! I could have written this a few years ago! My parents found out I smoked (when I was of age) and they really tripped out on me. They didn't ground me or anything, but they were upset. I just told them that "I am an adult and it is my decision. I'm sorry they didn't approve, but they weren't going to approve of everything I did because it was my life, not theirs." How much longer do you have to live at home? If you're of age, then maybe there's a way to work out getting an apartment with friends, or just staying at a friends house until you can get your own place? I know money only stretches so far, especially as a student (I'm sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions), but sometimes if it's possible to make a sacrifice, it can be in your best interest (and your parents!) Getting out of a bad situation is important in bp. If your house is a bad situation for you, it will only make your cycles and depressions worse, which makes the whole situation worse...especially if you're living with people who don't care to learn and understand about bp.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Please vent as much as you need to. We're always here, and we've probably been through it all, too! Take care of yourself, whatever that means to you. And don't be afraid to have a backbone with your parents. Let them know, when you feel comfortable and safe to do so, that they don't have to approve everything you do because you know that they approve of you and trust you. (Trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.) Take care!
Parents, ARRGGHHH!
I haven't had too many words with him this weekend, as I'm still utterly discussed with him. I'm willing to talk to him about it, but he has to see what he did wrong (going through my purse, putting me in uncomfortible siutations, etc.) When he's ready, we will talk.
Thanks for everybody's support in an area that's a little touchy for some. It's nice to know there's a little bit of allowed purpous to my madness. :)