i'm here. basically i'm sick of this illness and everything that goes with it. told tdoc yesterday i am ready to throw in the towel. it's interfering with my school work, i can't concentrate, i can't realize my kids' dreams and that cuts through me because i should be able to, and just a whole bunch of stuff.
so, in short, i'm about the same which is why i remain quiet. glad to hear you are doing better. keep at it you deserve it.
Hi, Rose here...not sure how I'm doing...well, guess it's not great. I was supposed to fly to my parents' today to spend a week there and go to a family reunion...but at the last minute I broke down and called my mom crying, saying I just couldn't handle it...so I ended up staying here. Supposed to start a summer research job here in a week, though.
Not sure if I posted about this earlier (there goes my memory again!), but I'm pretty sure I failed my last final exam miserably...but I just got a call from one of the profs saying he understands, so I'll get another chance when my memory comes back...that was definitely good to hear...although a bit late, since I've already been through my breakdown over I'm-so-stupid-and-incapable, etc...
My mood has been so unpredictable lately that I've mostly tried to keep my mouth shut because I've got no idea what will come out! And it almost always won't be good...for no reason that I can tell, I've felt like a total "witch" lately...even told my mom "just leave me alone!" (which she said she wouldn't do since she wanted to make sure I'm OK), and that was mild...mostly I haven't even been answering my phone, even when it's my good friend calling.
Whoa, this is way more than a roll call post, sorry! It's just so odd...I'd usually describe my personality as quiet, friendly, mild-mannered...but lately I've been filled with a bizarre anger, along with sadness that's so painful I feel like I can hardly bear it. And then the next day I'll feel almost on top of the world...but not know how to explain that change to my parents and friends! And then back down again...argh...
I do have an appointment with my pdoc tomorrow, but I'm not sure what I could say that would get her to try something different...I asked specifically about Topamax or another mood stabilizer last time, and her response was, "You don't want to go THERE (with those meds), do you?!". Hmmm...
OK, whoops, sorry about this post...you can probably tell why I usually try to keep my mouth shut! Right now, just so stressed and still wanting to be left alone in peace...I'm going to try to get back in the habit of exercising today, though, and maybe that will help...(I don't know how far I'll get, though, with this bad muscle pain...I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia many years ago, but it hadn't been acting up until lately...maybe that accompanies the depression too?)
Hi, Beth...I wanted to ask about your meds...would it be possible for you to go back and get the Depakote ER? I'm not sure how different it is from the regular Depakote, but I know it's not the same thing. I tried to find something about the difference online, and this was the best I could do (although it's based on people who were taking the med for headaches):
I'm here. I'm sort of in a mixed state, I guess. What do I want to talk about? I guess I want to get philosophical about my life. I'll do it in a separate post (could you folks humor me and read it;}?)
Donna, I can honestly say that in 12 years of being treated for bipolar, I have lost count of all the meds I've tried! I think, though, that I finally found the right cocktail three years ago, so figure, nine years worth of med trials.
Miss Em from the currently very sunny southwest Ontario, reporting in and the forcast is calling for rapid cycling to continue through out the week...currently, things are a bit unstable, but will probibly clear up by the time I decide to go to bed.
Seriously, I've had a horrible week and it's just finally got a little bit better (at least enough to cope for the time being). An friend of mine passed away last week and I've pretty much come to the conclusion I can't attend a little memorial service the community theatre we were both associated with because not only will this be my first memorial service/funeral, but my ex is going to be there and I know it will cause me too much stress. With some of the cycling I've been having (it even got to the point last week I called our local distress line), I just don't think it's exactly the healthiest thing I can do for myself.
I've also basicially started to come to grips with how lonely I am and have been since I was dumped and I'm going to see what I can do about that. I'll be a bit more causious this time around though...none of this being blinesided. That sucked. I'm going to be in control this time. :)
Hello. still dealing with the rapid cycling, was up til 3:00 cleaning. energetic but very depressed. still trying to deal with the fact that my surgery was posponed. i know it's stupid but i am. my friend mel said this is a better doctor any way so i should be glad. i am glad, i just wanted this thing done and over with. so im dealing with the usual, crying, sleeping, raging, depression, manic, paranoria....etc. and i was doing so well last week.
i hope your still in your upbeat mood! tell me something really good that happened to you today to take my mind off my own stupid life.
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Howdy, I'm a newbie here....Donna in the midwest...today I'm just blah..not sure why.
I would like to know how many different meds have you all tried before you found the right one?
God could not be everywhere, so
hi keli,
i'm here. basically i'm sick of this illness and everything that goes with it. told tdoc yesterday i am ready to throw in the towel. it's interfering with my school work, i can't concentrate, i can't realize my kids' dreams and that cuts through me because i should be able to, and just a whole bunch of stuff.
so, in short, i'm about the same which is why i remain quiet. glad to hear you are doing better. keep at it you deserve it.
traci
hi baby girl!!!
i'm here.
Hi, Rose here...not sure how I'm doing...well, guess it's not great. I was supposed to fly to my parents' today to spend a week there and go to a family reunion...but at the last minute I broke down and called my mom crying, saying I just couldn't handle it...so I ended up staying here. Supposed to start a summer research job here in a week, though.
Not sure if I posted about this earlier (there goes my memory again!), but I'm pretty sure I failed my last final exam miserably...but I just got a call from one of the profs saying he understands, so I'll get another chance when my memory comes back...that was definitely good to hear...although a bit late, since I've already been through my breakdown over I'm-so-stupid-and-incapable, etc...
My mood has been so unpredictable lately that I've mostly tried to keep my mouth shut because I've got no idea what will come out! And it almost always won't be good...for no reason that I can tell, I've felt like a total "witch" lately...even told my mom "just leave me alone!" (which she said she wouldn't do since she wanted to make sure I'm OK), and that was mild...mostly I haven't even been answering my phone, even when it's my good friend calling.
Whoa, this is way more than a roll call post, sorry! It's just so odd...I'd usually describe my personality as quiet, friendly, mild-mannered...but lately I've been filled with a bizarre anger, along with sadness that's so painful I feel like I can hardly bear it. And then the next day I'll feel almost on top of the world...but not know how to explain that change to my parents and friends! And then back down again...argh...
I do have an appointment with my pdoc tomorrow, but I'm not sure what I could say that would get her to try something different...I asked specifically about Topamax or another mood stabilizer last time, and her response was, "You don't want to go THERE (with those meds), do you?!". Hmmm...
OK, whoops, sorry about this post...you can probably tell why I usually try to keep my mouth shut! Right now, just so stressed and still wanting to be left alone in peace...I'm going to try to get back in the habit of exercising today, though, and maybe that will help...(I don't know how far I'll get, though, with this bad muscle pain...I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia many years ago, but it hadn't been acting up until lately...maybe that accompanies the depression too?)
Thanks so much for listening, as always,
Rose
Edited 6/1/2005 4:06 pm ET ET by rosa444
Hi, Beth...I wanted to ask about your meds...would it be possible for you to go back and get the Depakote ER? I'm not sure how different it is from the regular Depakote, but I know it's not the same thing. I tried to find something about the difference online, and this was the best I could do (although it's based on people who were taking the med for headaches):
http://www.headachedrugs.com/archives/depakote_preference.html
So it does seem like the ER version may be better in terms of side effects. Hope this is a little helpful,
Rose
I'm here. I'm sort of in a mixed state, I guess. What do I want to talk about? I guess I want to get philosophical about my life. I'll do it in a separate post (could you folks humor me and read it;}?)
Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"
Donna, I can honestly say that in 12 years of being treated for bipolar, I have lost count of all the meds I've tried! I think, though, that I finally found the right cocktail three years ago, so figure, nine years worth of med trials.
Express!
Beth "Petrouchka"
Miss Em from the currently very sunny southwest Ontario, reporting in and the forcast is calling for rapid cycling to continue through out the week...currently, things are a bit unstable, but will probibly clear up by the time I decide to go to bed.
Seriously, I've had a horrible week and it's just finally got a little bit better (at least enough to cope for the time being). An friend of mine passed away last week and I've pretty much come to the conclusion I can't attend a little memorial service the community theatre we were both associated with because not only will this be my first memorial service/funeral, but my ex is going to be there and I know it will cause me too much stress. With some of the cycling I've been having (it even got to the point last week I called our local distress line), I just don't think it's exactly the healthiest thing I can do for myself.
I've also basicially started to come to grips with how lonely I am and have been since I was dumped and I'm going to see what I can do about that. I'll be a bit more causious this time around though...none of this being blinesided. That sucked. I'm going to be in control this time. :)
hi rose!
thanks for asking... my pdoc
Hello. still dealing with the rapid cycling, was up til 3:00 cleaning. energetic but very depressed. still trying to deal with the fact that my surgery was posponed. i know it's stupid but i am. my friend mel said this is a better doctor any way so i should be glad. i am glad, i just wanted this thing done and over with. so im dealing with the usual, crying, sleeping, raging, depression, manic, paranoria....etc. and i was doing so well last week.
i hope your still in your upbeat mood! tell me something really good that happened to you today to take my mind off my own stupid life.
valerie
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