Very upset and angry with myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Very upset and angry with myself
3
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 10:38pm

Hi everyone,


I know I'm fairly new here and haven't really posted much, so I guess I feel like I really don't deserve to post here.

Snowman Siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 11:21pm

Oh {{{{{Kathie}}}}} I'm sorry you had such a rough day. I've had days like that and I know the guilt you're feeling and it's terrible. I read way too much into things and end up feeling exactly as you do. I hope you start feeling better soon. I'll be at the anxiety chat tomorrow if you need to vent or simply chat and feel free to email me anytime at cl-angelkitty16@adelphia.net


My thoughts & prayers are with you. Big Cyber Hugs coming your way too.


Hugs & Prayers,



Danielle


Hysterectomy & Alternatives


Host of Tuesday Night Anxiety, Panic & Phobia's Chat 7 - 9 pm MST


"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown


http://members.tripod.com/angelkitty16-ivil/

Hugs & Positive Thoughts Always,

Avatar for cla3a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:38am

Hi Kathie,


I am sorry that you had such a trying day. There are times that I blow up at the smallest things. I always feel so horrible afterwards. I will constantly think about what I did and how much better I could have handled the situation. Try not to let it get you so upset that you feel like you are losing control of the situation again. I know that it is difficult to do.


It doesn't matter if you have posted once or a million times on the board, we are here to support you. Please vent, cry,rage, and celebrate with us. That is what we are all here to do. Support each other.
Take care, and I hope today is a better day for you. :)


Hugs,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 5:14pm

Oh ((((((((Kathie)))))

if i beat myself up for everytime i did or said something stupid i'd be in ICU!! first off, feel free to post here ANYTIME you want, you are alway welcome here. secondly BTDT i had a situation right here one *this* board with one of the members and i thought i'd never have the cojones to come back lol! these things happen, then they go away and eventually forgotten. your like me, it's very hard for me to let things go, its part of my OCD and my paranoria. I bet your friend will understand if you explain to her how you felt at the time. Heck you don't have to have BP to black out! (lose control)

holding things inside? huh, no one does that better than me. my whole exsistence was based on smiling, being ole jolly val from when i was a child. couldnt tell the world my homelife was totally dsyfucntional. so we smiled for the public and unfortunately i carried that habit throughout my whole adult life. it took alot to break that habit and to this day i still fall into ole habits of smiling and acting like everythings groovy. as i get stronger, the *real* me is slowly emerging. the one who will tell you to take a flying HOO-ha if i get angry enough or the val that will tell you if your hurting my feelings where before id laugh right along with them. i can't say im like this stronge val all the time but i know shes there when i need her and whats even better, i can do it without raging!

the crying, feeling bad about yourself, thats something that we learn to deal with after a while and eventually, that too will go away. just remember, theres nothing wrong with you! you just have BP! I hope you have a great pdoc and tdoc to help you get a handle on your emotions. it sometimes takes a while til they get that right combo but when they do, it wonderful and even then you will have your ups and downs.....just like *normal* people do.

believe it or not, even though my incident here on the board happened a while ago, i *still* have my moments where i relive it all over again and start to obsess thinking certain folks on the board dislike me and maybe they do, the one thing i do know i've got a better handle on it and it doesn't bother me as much and thats through time and preserverance and prayer and yes BP meds.

i hope ive helped. sorry if a rambled. just know your not alone there are many, many women here that have BTDT and will be more than happy to share, care and love.

valerie