New week, new roll call...

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
New week, new roll call...
44
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 2:39pm

Last week's is still going and going lol. But I though I'd start a new thread. I hope you don't mind.

So let's hear from you all! What's going on this past week? And, how about what are you most proud of right now?

Amanda here, still from Ontario. :) 24 yrs old and fairly new at the bp thing, although I'm pretty sure I've been suffering from it since my teens. Still not sure about the dx with current pdoc though. She hasn't made up her mind *rolls eyes* shizoaffective, bipolar, borderline. Whatever, I don't care.

So, this past week I didn't do much but work. I did finish a couple exams for my correspondence course work. And today was my convocation from my B.A. in Religious Studies. That would me be my proudest thing too right now. No one can understand how hard it was and how much more of an achievement that makes this. I wasn't sure I would graduate. This is the first year that I have ever passed all my courses. Unfortunately, my family doesn't see this as a good thing, just that I need a much better average and a lot more volunteer if I want to get into teacher's college. I don't have time, energy or mental capacity for that...plus having to work to pay for school.

Well, enough of my rambling

Amanda

Photobucket

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:41am

(((((((((((((((Morgaine))))))))))))))

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. :(

Change is always tough and moving would be a definate trigger for me too. Drinking ya....BTDT That is also something that can mess with moods. I come from an alcoholic family (although no MI-which pdoc seemed surprised about) which is probably my cause of MI -likely the same gene that is responsible, only mutated. Anyway, enough of this genetic stuff. In any case we know that depression, bipolar and alcoholism are linked. Please be careful. The other thing that is likely messing with your moods in many ways is the diet. For one thing you might be throwing off your serotonin levels if you are eating less of the things that stimulate that (like bread, which I know a lot a people are staying away from). Then there is the stress of hoping that the scale will be nice to us, and the pressure from dh is even worse. You have to tell him that

Sucks that you didn't get to see your pdoc. At least you got to see another one. Ugh, my pdoc is so booked it is not funny. What was supposed to be a 2 week follow up appointment turned into 6 weeks. I hope that you can find a pdoc that works for you.

It really sucks that XH is still there tormenting your mind. I wish I could take that away from you.

You are a wonderful mom, I know it.

And more stress at work. Sorry to hear that is still going on. I hope that it resolves soon. I hope that you can stay out of the rumors and politics as much as possible. I know that you are very good at your job and shouldn't be worried.

I hope that your week away from the kids is good to you. I think you need a *real* vacation though.

Do you do yoga, meditation, journal? You need to take care of you and some strategies for coping with stress are definately in order.

Blessings,
Amanda

Photobucket

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:44am

Hi (((Miss Em)))

I'm glad that you've got faith behind you. I guess it's always been there for me too, but my spirituality has changed and grown over the years but has mostly been in the background of my life.

Good luck with your appointment, let us know how it goes. And any time you want to talk hear don't hesitate. We are here to listen.

Hugs,
Amanda

Photobucket

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:54am

(((((((((((((((((Val))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear that you are still in so much pain. I wish I could take that away from you.

When I'm 34 I know I'll look 24 and 44-34 etc. People say that I look 19 right now. The only *young* feature that I despise is the acne! 24 and now I get bad acne?! Ahhh. Who cares about the number anyway! One of my best friends is 40 (and I'm friends with her 16 yr old daughter too), and my mom is 50 which makes that all the more strange...but *shrug* who cares! I went out with someone 16 years older than me when I was 18. That's a bit of a big deal now, but even moreso then. I find the older I get the less the age difference matters.

Still praying for an early surgery date!

I *just* picked up a paint brush for the first time and paint like a 10 year old I'm sure. I never took art in my life and now I regret it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/amethyst_jean/art/IMG_0067.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/amethyst_jean/art/IMG_0068.jpg

I've done a whole ONE sketch! That was a year and a half or two years ago! And that's only because I copied from a photo. I can't actually draw.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v229/amethyst_jean/art/mysketch.jpg

Awesome that you are going to start a business (although I planned on many during my manic phases before). My latest manic idea is to write a book (okay so that's not the latest...the art thing is more recent). And don't take me to say that you can't start this business. I definately think you can.

Love you too!
Amanda

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 11:57am

Marci...I've missed you!

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:01pm

((((((((((((((((((((Beth)))))))))))))))

So glad to hear from you.

I'm sorry things are starting to get uncertain and stressful again.

You definately need to watch that sleep. It is both a major trigger and a sign of mania for me. We need to try to maintain a regular sleep routine (ha!)

You will do great at your job, I know it. Congratulations.

Lots of hugs and love!
Amanda

Photobucket

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:13pm

Oh, Marci! *biggest hugs ever*

I wish I could stop the downward spiral for you. You are too awesome to deserve that. I know how awful the wait can be for a pdoc. I'm still waiting on the mental health clinic (6 months) and the pdoc at school is busy. My 2 week follow-up turned into 6 weeks.

Too much stress. I hope you are doing something to relieve it.

*crossing fingers* that you won't have to wait long

Good luck with college orientation.

I hope that the stress (and pain) lighten up for you.

Love,
Amanda

Photobucket

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:27pm

(((((((((((((((((((((Rose))))))))))))))))))))))

So good to hear from you. And thanks for the congrats.

Congrats on your job. Yes you should be proud of it. Once again I'm afraid mine is in danger (and here I was complaining that I want something more than a sub shop job and I can't even do that :( getting in trouble again and can't get along with my coworkers)

I'm glad the memory is improving. Sorry to hear that you're back in a funk though. I hope it ends soon.

Rose, I know how hard it can be to hear that you have gained weight, even meant as a compliment. I was getting the same thing when I went to visit my old work. I don't like that I can't fit into my old clothes even though most of my friends are bigger than me and don't think I should lose weight(even though I weigh more than they think and am not underweight). Please try to eat well. I really want you to be healthy. If you have been doing well controlling those negative thoughts and behaviours before this I want you to reach back for that and hold on. You have to tell yourself that you want to be healthy. Stop relying on the scale. I hope this is an issue you are dealing with. I am dealing with joint problems (and have since I was 18) as a result of eating disorders.

Sorry *steps off soapbox*

I am very glad you are reaching out again and going out with your friend. WTG!

And don't worry about the long post, I love to hear it!

Love,
Amanda

Photobucket

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:33pm

((Vista))

Good to hear from you. It may be only once a month, but I definately think that would be better than nothing. We all need to deal with things, even if we're stable, every day stuff too. For us, I'd say therapy is nearly a necessity. For myself it is more than necessary. It is imperative. Life or death.

Are you battling weight because of the meds? What are you on?

Amanda

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 12:39pm

Hey! im a firm believer that EVERYONE has artistic talent. think about all the artist past and present who were ridculed as being non talented upstarts? think Pollack, Andy Worhol, Piccasso, even Monet! now they are considered artistic giants. Most artists dont have ANY formal training, thats just an option. Your paintings are very good and very expressive and you DO have artistic talent! DON"T EVER stop painting and DONT EVER say you can't paint! you painted didn't you? or am i having an optical illusion? lol!

please keep up the good work!

valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Fri, 06-10-2005 - 4:35pm
Erin here, Ohio, USA. This past week, did a great deal of work- not a lot of excitement. Have today off- first evening that I get to spend with DH in some time, which is exciting. Got to garden today, also. Weight is down to 159 lb. which means that even if I do have to go off the Topamax (a possibility because liver bloodwork was looking a little funny at last checkup) a little weight gained back will not break me. This is a relief. My "proudest thing" is that as of yesterday, I completed my six-month probationary period at work (all new hires go through this), which will mean a raise...and (drumroll) NOT ONE negative comment or criticism on my review! That's, like, a bipolar's dream or something! They like me, they really, really like me! :) Life is good.
UCAUTIONIN THE INTEREST OF SAFETY IT IS ADVISABLE TO KEEP ERIN AWAY FROM FIRE AND FLAMES.
From Go-Quiz.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com