New week, new roll call...

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
New week, new roll call...
44
Wed, 06-08-2005 - 2:39pm

Last week's is still going and going lol. But I though I'd start a new thread. I hope you don't mind.

So let's hear from you all! What's going on this past week? And, how about what are you most proud of right now?

Amanda here, still from Ontario. :) 24 yrs old and fairly new at the bp thing, although I'm pretty sure I've been suffering from it since my teens. Still not sure about the dx with current pdoc though. She hasn't made up her mind *rolls eyes* shizoaffective, bipolar, borderline. Whatever, I don't care.

So, this past week I didn't do much but work. I did finish a couple exams for my correspondence course work. And today was my convocation from my B.A. in Religious Studies. That would me be my proudest thing too right now. No one can understand how hard it was and how much more of an achievement that makes this. I wasn't sure I would graduate. This is the first year that I have ever passed all my courses. Unfortunately, my family doesn't see this as a good thing, just that I need a much better average and a lot more volunteer if I want to get into teacher's college. I don't have time, energy or mental capacity for that...plus having to work to pay for school.

Well, enough of my rambling

Amanda

Photobucket

Pages

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 9:34pm

(((Morgaine)))

I hope you're doing better staying away from alcohol. I know that I shouldn't drink. I also want to fit back into my clothes. We can do this. TOGETHER.

Love
Amanda

Photobucket

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Sun, 06-19-2005 - 9:40pm

(((Rose)))

Good to hear from you.

It's cool that you've got an interesting research project there. I'm now a university grad and still working in a sub shop :(

I'm sorry that you are feeling down and pdoc doesn't seem to be doing anything about it, but as you said the meds are helping the migraines and fibro. Stick with her a little longer, maybe she'll finally add something.

I see my pdoc Wednesday and I feel much the same about things with her.

Let me know how it goes!

Love you.

Amanda

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 12:36am

Thanks so much, Amanda...I hope you're hanging in there all right...I've got to get better at checking the board more often and responding to posts. Good luck at your pdoc appointment on Wednesday...I know it can be frustrating.

And I can relate in a way to your trouble getting a job that you like and find interesting. When I was thinking about switching to vet school, I knew I'd have to take a year off to work in some animal-related job. I searched the web and newspaper and realized that I was hardly qualified for anything...the closest I could get to the animals would be as a receptionist for a vet's office, and maybe not even that...it's hard, I know...I hope you are able to find something soon.

Oops, wow...I guess the Ambien I just took is having a greater effect on me than usual...maybe because I cut way back on my eating today...well, I did eat more after feeling very cold and not being able to warm myself up even with jackets and a blanket...and it's been about 80 degrees here outside! Anyway, I think the Ambien is making me a little loopy and rambly (if that's any different from my normal state, lol!).

But the reason I had to take the Ambien in the first place was that I've been quite hyper and happy lately...bizarre that things would change so fast. Tonight I saw a great movie ("Mad Hot Ballroom") that, corny as it sounds, really inspired and energized me even more...made me want to focus on really "living life to the fullest" somehow.

And this is a good mood to have when I have an exam to take tomorrow...the practice interview and physical exam on a patient, which can seem overwhelming to me with the amount of material, especially with my still-not-quite-perfect memory. When I'm "like this" I'm much more outgoing and chatty...I think the group of friends I went out with tonight (I would NEVER go out in that depressed state!) were suprised (annoyed?) by my talkativeness.

I guess this is one thing I may bring up with my pdoc...I'm wondering what's going on here. Is it just that my periods of depression may be shorter after the ECT, instead of the constant depression I used to have? Or is this verging on some form of bipolar in which moods can change so rapidly? (but then I realize, I guess bipolar is seriously unlikely if I'm on all these AD's and not constantly manic, right?!)

Maybe I just don't know what it's like to be happy, so it seems odd to me. But today I mostly felt on top of the world, dancing around in my room, talking up a storm. Especially after that movie...I even thought maybe I should pick up and move to New York to help these kids (in the movie) somehow...no real plan, though!

OK, I've posted more than enough for a roll call post! Sorry...this is Rose on (legal) drugs, lol! It's way past my bedtime, better head off. Oh, I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I went off the Wellbutrin on my own because it was making my hands shake visibly, giving me muscle twitches, and making me more anxious...there really wasn't a way to get in touch with my pdoc. So I think she won't be too pleased about that...oh well...

Thanks for letting me spill all this out!

Love,

Rose




Edited 6/20/2005 12:40 am ET ET by rosa444
Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Wed, 06-22-2005 - 10:08am

(((rose)))

How'd the exam go?

I'm glad you're happy and/or hyper. So much better than depression. Ya, it's hard to know happiness when you've been depressed for so long. I spend most of high school in a major depression with only a few brief manias in there.

I will also probably be going off the Wellbutrin and maybe the epival too. Pdoc wants to taper me off meds. She didn't prescribe them and thinks I'm overmedicated. She also hasn't seen me off of meds. Grrr I don't like that reason. Make me possibly have an episode because you haven't seen me off meds? I don't think she thinks I'm bipolar. Ah well. I hope she finally makes up her mind about a dx today.

My hands shake and my concentration is bad. I thought it was the epival. Maybe it's the wellbutrin!

I agree with you that the amount of ADs you're on and not manic tend to point away from bipolar. In any case, I'm glad you're "up" now.

If you still want to get some experience working with animals, how about volunteering at the SPCA?

Gotta go for now.

Love ya!
Amanda

Photobucket

Pages