I am so depressed (triggers)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
I am so depressed (triggers)
5
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 10:29am

I am so freaking depressed and crying right now. My husband doesn't understand bi polar. I only started having symptoms when I was pregnant with my first daughter. i told him I would get on meds after I have the baby. He said he wants to seperate until then because he cant take me no more. WTF??? why can't he stay with me through this. I don't understand I am sitting here crying. I have to go to the doctors because I have strep throat. I told him to get out last night, and go drink his life away like he loves to do. I know he knows I didn't mean but he did it, I locked him out. So he went out and drank and now he called off work. Now he is sitting here arguing with me. I cant take this crap no more. He is calling me wacko, sick in the head, and crazy.

The arguement started like this. I asked him if he is planning on going to band practice Monday he said yea (well he says its on tues., wednes. and saturday) I told him I didn't want him to go because I look forward to him coming home to give me a break from my daughter because I am 30 wks prego. There is alot more but I don't have to chat, I have to go catch a bus to go to the doctors.

I will write more when I get back.

Melissa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 12:40pm

Melissa, OMG I am so upset for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 3:58pm

Melissa i am so very sorry your not feeling well. im sending out healing and strength vibes to you right now. being preggers and BP can't be easy. im so sorry that your DH can't understand what your going thru.

when i first got diagnosed with BP my DH was more in denial than i was. no matter how i tried to explain to him what i was going thru, he said he understood but his actions proved otherwise. Of course this lead to all kinds of emotional triggers for me which made matters worse. DH kept wondering why i couldn't go back to work, why i never got out of bed etc. you'd be surprised how many folks don't really know much about BP, they think you can "overcome these feelings if you really want to" or your "looking for attention" believe me if i wanted attention that bad i would rather walk down the street naked than to go thru this!

How i got DH to *finally* get it is i took him to my Tdoc and Pdoc and let them have at it. thru them and myself, he finally understood what was going on, he even went on the net to get even more info. i understand what your going thru and maybe if you took DH to docs with you (not ALL the time just to have docs explain) he'll get a better comprehension of what your going thru and be more sensitive to your needs. Dh might even be scared of the eminent birth of your child. is he afraid financialy you might not be able to afford another child? (i don't mean to get in your business) if so that could explain some of it. maybe he's afraid of having to "grow up" (for lack of a better word)and his freedom might be compromised. how was his attitude with your first child? how was yours? (again, not meaning to get in your business) there could be so many factors invovled. talk to him and ask him what hes really feeling. but be prepared for the answer.

good luck! this is the best place to be so post your little heart out if you want!

God bless

valerie

Edited 6/20/2005 4:04 pm ET ET by daftoptmst




Edited 6/20/2005 4:11 pm ET ET by daftoptmst
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2004
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 4:13pm

Hi,

Yeah he is affraid that we cannot afford the up coming child, I know he is I was on birth control when I got pregnant.
His child hood is weird. He was a very down to earth child, he was more mature as a child, almost adult like, now he is acting very immature, it started when he hit his twenties, and his mom got sick. He started to party all the time, and drink. Now he has no drivers liscence until October 06 he lost his liscence 6 years ago.

Yeah he is going to the tdoc and pdoc with me next time. He said he is. Plus I think it help him and my mom talked forever when I was at the doctors today for strepthroat. I think he has a better understanding of things maybe I don't know.

Melissa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 5:25pm

Well i certainly hope everything works out for the best. don't you forget to ask questions that DH doesn't ask while at Dr. make sure you cover all grounds so that there is no surprises later on. see if you can get some literature on BP for him to read. i don't know if there is a board on Ivillage for family member of BP relatives or not, ask Keli or look for yourself.

maybe DH could use some therapy himself? or you could go to marital couseling. at any rate, i'll pray for everything to work out for you and you get the meds you need as soon as possible after the birth or you baby!

good luck

valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 6:08pm

(((Melissa))),


My heart just goes out to you BP is bad enough and then you throw all the hormone swings pregancy causes and LOOK OUT!


Hopefully, between his talk with your mom and his talks with your tdoc/pdoc he'll get a better understanding of what's going on.