Need advice about DD's new beau

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Need advice about DD's new beau
7
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 12:07pm

DD met a guy, Jake,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 1:10pm

Hello Marcie, it's val. congradulations on the computer, mine must have been talking to yours because it's been actin a fool lately! lol. so far so good though.

about your daughters new beau, he sounds like a decent enough kid, but i'd watch DD for any signs of abuse or any change in attitude besides the depression and signs of physical abuse. (don't mean to scare ya) yes, it is to early for any "i love you" ask DD how she feels about that. why did this kid leave home? do you know anyone in law enforcement? i have a girl friend that has a policeman friend and whenever she meets a new guy she has him run him thru the system for any red flags. whenever a guy wants you to stop seeing your friends is NEVER good sign. see if she starts doing this. if she stops talking about him, that could be a sign too or if she gets uncomfortable talking about him thats a sure sign. im sure there is a board here about this, check it out.

no you should NOT let things ride for a while!! there are just as many teenage abusers as there is grown up men abusers.

i don't mean to scare you but there is nothing wrong with looking out for you DD

valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 2:02pm

I agree with the other post....and there are websites out there (I get the emails all the time) to do a full background check...there has to be something.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 4:38pm

Marci,


You know J better than anyone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 5:09pm

marci,


i have to go with the general consencus on this. watch for any signs of abuse definitely, but your dd has to make this decision on her own.


i recently attended a meeting where "surrender" was the topic. until then, i didn't realize how much i tried to control rather than guide and teach my

Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 5:15pm

I think it is great that you are looking out for your DD. It sounds like something is up with this guy, if you ask me. I would definately sit down and find out some more info from you dd. I would also talk to her about depression, and let her know you can try to get her some help if she is struggling while away at school. Was last year her first year? Maybe it was just a freshman thing. Does she show signs now? Glad to see you are back on the board too.

Missy

 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 5:52pm

P.S. this is not a judgement on how you raised your DD. im sure you're a GREAT mom! just because a guy SEEMS harmless, doesnt necessarily mean he is harmless usually if you feel somethings wrong, there's probably something not right. im sure she'll make the right choice. as long as you and DD have open communication, thats a wonderful thing. kids think they know everything! lol heck, every time you wake up there's something else to learn. talk to your DD it's NEVER too late to talk to your kids!

valerie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2003
Tue, 06-21-2005 - 5:57pm

Hmmmm....How level headed is your daughter? Is she the type that if you voiced your concerns would be determined and h*** bent on seeing him anyway?

She may have concerns also if she's being vague with you. Gotta tell you -- I don't like this guy and I don't even know him. Anyone that is THAT possessive after such a short time is trouble in my opinion.

I hope things work out -- let us know.