Does stable equal 'flat'

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Does stable equal 'flat'
10
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 12:23pm

Hi,

I've posted here a bit and I have another question, but first some background. I take Abilify and Lamictal and have been pretty darn stable for a while now. I only get panicky a little bit and am able to just think of something else and calm down. No hypo-mania and just a tiny bit of depression now and then...

However, and this is where my question is leading... I can't seem to feel either happy or sad anymore (at all!)

Yesterday one of my beloved pets passed away rather suddenly. DH cried, and I hardly felt anything... a touch of sadness maybe, but no grief. I also don't seem to be able to feel happy about happy events (birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, etc.) ...just sort of flat, emotionless, and dragging along... Is this how 'stable' feels? 'cause I don't really care for it...

Catherine

Avatar for littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 12:35pm
I don't think it HAS to. I would talk to pdoc/tdoc about it, tell them what's going on. I know I still feel very emtional unless I try to shut things out just to protect me. I am sorry you are feeling this way and sorry to hear about your pet. I have a LOT of pets and over time I have just kind of gotten use to the fact that sometimes they die. I still feel sad, but not so depressed like I used to.

littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 12:41pm

Thanks...

I too have a lot of pets... 2 dogs and 4 (make that 3) cats. Maybe you are right, maybe I am just more accepting of losing them now (lost a dog about a year and a half ago and that was very traumatic)... Maybe because I am more stable, I just don't have the strong grief reaction that I used to... Hmmmm, something to think about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 12:46pm

One thing I found when I finally became stable was that it wasn't so much that I wasn't feeling emotions, it was that I had to learn what real emotion was. I was so accustomed to wild swings up and down that I thought they were normal. Therefore, when I DID have a normal happy or sad mood, it surprised me how minor they felt. Over time, I learned how to feel things again and now when something happy (birthdays, holidays, gifts, etc) or sad (loss of a pet, flat tire on car, etc) happens I have what I feel is an appropriate response.

At the same time, you should talk to your pdoc/tdoc about this. Maybe your meds are too high and your aren't able to feel things properly. That IS possible. You just need to find out which one you are experiencing.

Good luck and take care - SO sorry to hear about the loss of your pet.

Tracey

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 12:56pm

Catherine,


I don't have any answer for you, but agree with what has been said by others. It is something to definitely run by your pdoc/tdoc the next time you see them.


I've gotten to a point where I've felt *stable* but then, I either start swinging again or feel the flat feeling you describe. In my case it is due to the fact that we are still working on finding the right dosage, because pdoc has finally found the right meds for me.


I stress that this is only my own personal experience, because the one thing I've learned on this board is that no 2 people experience the same symptoms on the same meds for the same reasons, etc. Yours may simply be, as has been suggested, learning how to respond to emotions now that you have become stable. I live for the day when I can get to that point and stay there for more than a few days at a stretch;)


Much luck and a lot of (((((((((hugs))))))))))


traci

Avatar for littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 1:05pm
that's a good point, we often don't know what stable feels like after being on a rollercoaster for so long that is feels weird, when really it's probably "normal" (though I don't really care for that word).

littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 1:23pm

(((((Catherine))))),


I'm so sorry about your pet, I've been through this twice in the last couple of months (and lost a couple other critters in the last year or so) and I know it hurts and sometimes that hurt is enough that we refuse to process it completely, so we end up with that kind of hollow/flat feeling.

Avatar for angiepangie77
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 1:42pm
Hi Catherine,
I just wanted to write to say that I feel the same as you. I take Lithium, Effexor, Seroquel and Klonopin and I know it's the Lithium that's giving me this "flat" feeling. But to me, I'd much rather feel this way than be manic or severely depressed, which I would be without the Lithium. I thought for months after I started taking it why I didn't really feel anything. But then I thought, it's better than feeling like you want to kill yourself or it's the end of the world, or on the other end, get no sleep and feel like a lunatic out of control.
Hang in there. Just remember that you're well, and maybe with time some of the emotions will begin to come back. If you really don't like feeling that way, then I would do as the others suggested and talk to your pdoc about it.
Best wishes,
Angie
password is noelle
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 1:50pm

Thanks to All for your responses...

I think most of you are right on track... feeling a little flat is way better than the alternative, I just felt sort of freakish for feeling so detached yesterday... I guess it's ok not to cry hysterically if I don't really feel like it :-)

Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 12:54pm

I just went through this VERY same thing when I got stable on Lithium.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 12:56pm

Hi Angie!