advice pls: dealing with bipolar ds 22yo
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| Tue, 06-28-2005 - 9:18pm |
our son was just dx'd with bipolar disorder. A result of the pressures of completing his graduation requirements and experiencing the end-of-college life etc. No doubt the realization of adapting to life with dw and myself and/or the daunting task of doing 'for real' stuff like job/career.
he was dx'd just after Graduation 6 weeks ago, there was 2 weeks of no sleep/manic and hypomanic activity, about 2 weeks of hospitalization, and since then he sees a Pdoc and licsw/counselor weekly. DW and myself are scheduled to talk to counselor this week. He is on meds, depakote, a BP med, a sedative to help him sleep, and I know not lithium.
Of course I am not pushing him to get a resume out, and who really knows how long it will take for him to settle out with respect to meds . But in the mean-time.....
How should we deal with him when his behavior, though not horrrible/illegal/immoral, is still manic? I dont know if I should tell him to wait a bit, confront him when I dont think certain things are prudent/logical, or just smile through clenched teeth?
Some things are clearly contradictory to what I deem acceptable in my house. He is basically running his mouth and making an ass of himself. It may hurt him when he is ready to enter the community as a true independent adult, because at this point is by no means capable of living successfully on his own.
Thanks in advance.
ls

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Hi lslipper,
I'm a bit slow in catching up on the posts lately, but I wanted to jump in and say Welcome! and that what everyone has offered you is right on track. I am a 38 yo single mother of 3 great kids. I have battled "depression" since my early teens, however, this past December it was determined that my unipolar depression was in fact bipolar. Looking back over many years, I can now identify when I went into hypomanic states and see this has been with me a long time.
What everyone has said about the meds and finding the right combination is right on target. I've been on so many different meds and combinations of meds since December it's not even funny. I had gotten to the point that if this last med change did not yield results, I was ready to just give up. However, the wonderful people here helped me realize that I was stronger than that. The depressive side of this illness is what I predominantly battle with so my outlook can get very negative on a "bad day". Now, I am on a combination of meds that seem to be what I need, we just need to find the right dosage. I'm closer to stability now than I've been in months, and with every tweak of my meds I get even closer.
What Morgaine said about this being similar to dealing with an alcoholic really struck me, as I live with an alcoholic and had never really looked at the parallels in my mother's behavior and mine when I go into a hypomanic swing.
I have huge rage issues, so I can identify with your DS storming out of the house. I usually do this as well, only come back in with a messed up hand from pounding on my shed. So, be thankful he just goes out yelling. But, usually all I need is a cool down period and it sounds as though this is something your DS recognizes as well. It's awesome that he is so aware of what is going on and is so willing to rectify it. There will likely be, as someone said, relapses. This is usually due to a medication that might need to be adjusted.
Continue to be supportive, but as has also been stated, set clear boundaries as well. The lists sound like a good start. I wish you all the best! Once again, welcome to the board. You have found a fantastic source of support here!
Traci
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