update

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
update
6
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 12:20am

ah forget it. Darn mixed dysphoric mania. I don't feel like doing it now. I'll do it after work tomorrow. I also see the family doctor tomorrow. So much to say when I see him, wish me luck. I hope that he doesn't interrupt me. I want to tell him to shut up sometimes. My time is too valuable.

Amanda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: schitz
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 9:08am

Amanda,


HUGS and luck with the doctor today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: schitz
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 11:59am
I feel it with you. Tell him to shut up, I wish I could. I can't even realize I'm important, my time is valuable too, can't see it though. Good luck.
Hugs & Hope
Carla
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: schitz
Wed, 07-06-2005 - 3:39pm

(((((Amanda))))),


Hope it's better later.

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
In reply to: schitz
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 1:15am

Thanks everyone.

well, here's the news. I went in with my list and went through them all as briefly as possible. YAY. He let me go through each item on the list even though we probably went way over time. Let's see,

I gave him the psych update, but pdoc had written him a note too.

He said I should take the med that pdoc gave me for possible dystonia from one med for the tremors from another (can you follow?)

I just don't have much of that med. She gave it to me just in case. If he wants me to take it, I'm going to need more, of course I didn't think about that at the time. It wasn't on my list!

I told him about the anxiety, but we didn't deal with it.

I told him about the weight gain and that I don't like it and he said there is nothing he can do about that and that it's probably the meds. I *know* it's the meds! Duh, but why can't you do something about it?

I got my rx's refilled. And, once again he asked why pdoc didn't do it. Well she wants to work with him and doesn't see me often enough (plus he originally rx'd them).

I once again asked him about my joint pain (well it's been years, but last time he basically said "you're too young" but ordered the test for rheumatoid arthritis in my bloodwork anyway. It's negative. I said, "Well I know I'm in pain" He said it could be the meds. I told him it's been going on forever, don't you remember the bloodwork and everything a few years ago I asked about the same thing (of course he wouldn't how selfish of me). So, his verdict? Fibromyalgia. Great! :-S I wasn't expecting any more NEW diagnoses! It's a very daunting and scary thing. I don't want to be bad enough that I just can't get out of bed (oh wait, already there sometimes, even just the depression).

Oh and I found out for sure what the pdoc's "working diagnosis is borderline personality disorder" oh and the anti-psychotic she rx'd? that's for "quasi-psychotic symptoms" UGH!

Whatever. I know I'm bp and bpd. I think I always have been, and I know I'm not the only one that agrees.

So, that wasn't much to brighten my day.

Then I had to work :( At least it wasn't with toxic coworker. Although as soon as I walked in the door, the toxic coworker runner up was on my case about "everything" being empty and dirty this morning. Whatever. I can't get out of there soon enough.

I actually told my boss today. "I'm miserable, I want to go home"!!! I can't believe i said that to him (he knows I"m a bit messed and the OD and the cutting I'm sure he's seen the scars). He said "don't be miserable, only a couple more hours" I can't believe I said that and I can't believe he wasn't mad. I guess he could tell that I wasn't *being* miserable to the customers, just feeling miserable.

Well I've yakked your ears off long enough. Time to go sulk, not sure why, but I'd say I've crashed.

Amanda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: schitz
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 2:31pm
I'm so sorry you are going through so much at once. I'm here for you!!!!!!! No matter what remember you aren't alone. Fibrom(can't spell it) can be very painful, but if you have a pool to tread in do it. It really does help, esp. if it is an outdoor pool, warm water. I go to the Y for my hip (old childhood thing) and I hate the fact I'm heavy and in a suit, but people really don't pay any attention to me, whew what a relief. Except X works there.
Love, Hugs & Hope
Carla
Avatar for missyflanders
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: schitz
Thu, 07-07-2005 - 9:03pm

I just wanted to tell you my 2 cents about fibromyalgia. I saw a neurologist who diagonosed a possible mood disorder and fibro for me. BUT and it is a big one, never tested for trigger points. Apparently when you have fibro, there are certain points on your body that when pressed with the correct pressure would send you jumping from the pain. The rheumologist I saw says I don't have enough of those points and it does not qualify. I also saw a chiropractor when it was bad too and he agreed with he Rheumatologist. I don't believe I have fibro and without a thourough exam with a check on pressure points, you may not too. Just thought I would fill you in on what I know. It was recommended to me that I work out more and that might help. I still am achy and don't feel like I should be at my age (30) but find that as my moods get better, so does how I feel. Maybe they are physical signs of your depression. Just an idea. (Last year I had every test and diagonoses possible for my pains and I believe it was just the depression as it is not as bad now. I was even told it could have been lupus, MS, thyroid etc.)

Feel better soon.

Missy