Don't have time..
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| Thu, 07-14-2005 - 7:43pm |
...to go through all the posts and see what's going on with everyone. I have 6 minutes of internet time left.
I'm okay, not dead yet. Panicking out of my mind. Having a good time but still depressed. Go figure.
I haven't sent an email to my tdoc yet. What's the point? She already said that she doesn't reply just collects them. What good is that? She's gone for two weeks after I get back. AHH!
Ah well, that's my luck.
No one on my other message board (offsite) has replied and I'm miserable. I think they all hate me. Of course this should probably be directed to the borderline personality board because it's a definate borderline trait.
Now I must have a shower and get drunk before an early flight back to Buffalo. I don't want to go. I just want to go to bed.
Check out the pictures on
http://manic-mandi.freehomepage.com/photo.html
there is a link to the photobucket page there too, since i had some trouble putting the pictures up there.
The last ones I put up I didn't even rotate and resize. I had been but that's not worth it when I'm paying by the minute. I figured I'd send a message to my friends instead. I miss you guys so much. See you Sunday.
Amanda
ps If anyone is on the SI, SU and BPD boards and would like to send people here to check up on me, not that anyone cares
Edited 7/17/2005 4:04 am ET ET by schitz


Amanda,
Sounds like things are going really rough right now, but don't take not getting replies back immediately as something personal--it happens to all of us for a variety of reasons.
We definitely care (and someone--my memory is real flaky today, so I don't remember who was just asking after you).
I am so glad you posted. I have been worried about you since "talking" to you last week. Glad you managed to have a little fun. Sorry to hear things are still so bad. Hugs to you. Prayers that the depression lifts soon.
Missy
Vida here, from the SI board, just saw a link to this post. I'm so confused, what is going on with you. Yes, I"m worried about you, please post another update soon, to let us know that you are okay. Honey, I care.
HUGS to you, my friend...
Vida
Thanks all.
I'm home but there is no way in *aVeryHotPlace-ohWaitThat'sHer* I'm going to be able catch up. this is one of my busier boards.
Aside from that, my state of mind does not allow me to reply to everyone. Let's just say today was worse. It was a Murphy of a day. I have been crying about everything and I don't want to go through the day again without doing that so I won't. If you thought I had been doing rough, don't look now.
Amanda :(
Amanda,
For what it's worth, you are not alone -- I and a number of others are in a downward slide, too--misery loves company, ya know-LOL!
Hang in there Sweetie--anything in particular causing this or just BP rearing it's ugly head?
Big cyber Kleenex and even bigger HUG,
Marci
Thanks marci, *hugs*
I don't know what is "causing" it. I never did figure out my triggers. Maybe that is something I should look at with tdoc, but of course that's a while away.
I'm still a week early for PMS (although not by last month's 3 week schedule!) but that could be part of it, along with messed up meds. I don't think I took my meds regularly BUT I was depressed before I left, so don't give me that lecture lol.
Love you.
Amanda
I know EXACTY how u feel. i feel like everybody hates me at least 2x's a day. then i come to my senses and count my blessings. and so what if they don't like you, you don't even know these people do you? except online. ( forgive me if im wrong) you can best believe that I like you that's for sure us BP,ED,OCD,SI (have i forgoten any? lol) folks have to stick together ya know!
i didn't know so many of us were suffering. ive been out of touch for a while. i've said a prayer for us all to get better. what the heck is going on? it;s not like we have to go to go to school in september! lol! these moods seem to happen in cycles, we all end up depressed at the same time. we hold each other up during those times just like sisters do.
those pictures were lovely! the composition was excellent on your photos of the garden. you should submit them in a photo contest, im sure theres one somewhere. never stop, its obvious you have a great eye.
Amanda know this, i will be there for you whenever i can. i will pray for you everyday. you will be in my thoughts and you will be loved.
valerie
Edited 7/19/2005 5:41 pm ET ET by daftoptmst
Edited 7/19/2005 5:45 pm ET ET by daftoptmst
awww thank you so much val. It was so nice to come home from work to find your message. I missed you BTW
(and yes there is even more than BP,ED,OCD,SI but who's counting lol...I'm trying to define myself by things other than my disorders! It's hard that's become entirely who I am for quite some time....if only things would stabilize then maybe I could stop identifying as a sick person).
Thank you for what you said about my photos. I love photography. Would you believe, though, that those are just point and shoot with my digital camera. (Actually, I have won a photo contest with a point and shoot picture). Obviously the ones on my "real" camera need to be scanned (well first I need to get my luggage which is still in the states, get them developed and then scan them!)
Hugs,
Amanda
Edited 7/19/2005 11:48 pm ET ET by schitz