How do you know? (possible triggers?)
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| Tue, 07-19-2005 - 9:56am |
Ok, I am feeling very philosophical right now, so I hope this makes some kind of sense...
How do you know when urges or thoughts are irrational (BP generated) or normal?
For instance, many normal people quit their jobs and move cross-country for adventure... There are people who do extreme sports and there are people who start businesses by the skin of their teeth... but being BP, I dismiss a lot of thoughts/dreams/urges as being irrational...
In the process of dismissing a lot of things I think about as 'not a good idea', I am starting to feel 'stuck' or trapped in my boring life. Now don't get me wrong, I have a super wonderful DH, a very good job, a little humble house (but it's mine :-) pets that I love and a few good friends... but still I feel like I'm in a rut a lot of the time...
I could use some hobbies or new activities or new friends in my life, but I've also been depressed for a very long time now and lack the energy to actually DO anything about it... I just feel like I WANT to without really TRYING to... I know I'm not making a whole lot of sense, but I wondered if anyone has any advice?
Catherine

I don' t have much advice, but want you to know that I can totally relate, and I'm going through the SAME thing right now.
Catherine,
You make perfect sense to me--I feel the same way a lot of times.
I think Marci got it right on!!!
I too have had manic ideas like starting a photography business, writing a book (although I'm still determined to do that, I just know that it's going to take time and effort) and picking up and moving to B.C. among other things.
I am also learning, though, that not everything has to be bp. We can have a bad day or a bad mood without it being a depressive episode. So, we should be able to have big plans without them being manic...the difference is the "plans" and not jumping in with both feet completely unprepared.
Amanda,
What kind of book would you like to write?
I'm writing a book of prose and that type of thing, and perhaps an art one. I know I'll never have my art in a gallery, but maybe a book...maybe with the poetry I don't know.
I haven't really worked on it...I thought I'd have it done this summer...of course that was the mania talking.
Amanda
Thanks for all you replies... I've just been having these thoughts lately that I want to go 'home' to California.
My husband was in the Marine Corps and he just retired while we were stationed in North Carolina. We are all established here with jobs and a house and there is absolutely no reason to move (not to mention that it would be super expensive and we'd have to find new jobs - jobs good enough to afford the cost of living in California no less!) but nevertheless, I always kind of thought we'd eventually go back. Now I think we never will and it's been bugging me... I'm a 'blue' state person stuck in a 'red' state (not that there aren't nice people here in the South) but it's such a different culture and to top it off, we live in a pretty rural area of North Carolina so there's not a lot to do either (no plays, symphony, opera, museums, not much shopping, etc.) I miss city living and I miss the cultural tolerance of the west coast...
Oh well, I guess there's always vacations :-)
Thanks again for all your input...
Catherine