Keli
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| Mon, 08-01-2005 - 10:21am |
Hey! Did the squatters leave?? I really hope they did - you don't need that!
I am doing ok - this infection is killing me. The cold sore is almost gone already (woohoo!) but the infection hasn't gone down and I am actually looking forward to my dr appt this afternoon to show them that. Blah!
My mother finally pulled the med card. We were on the phone yesterday because I decided to let Savannah stay home until tonight (Mike could watch her today) seeing I had to go to her house tonight...she started asking if I was taking my meds and if they were still working. Apparently she was concerned because I moved Mike in and because I was looking into buying that car. I didn't just go out and buy a car randomly btw - I have been looking at the VUE since they came out YEARS ago. Today is the last day of a deal on them in which I would save around $10K. Mike and I are discussing if I will go ahead with the purchase or not because I really can't afford it, even though the bank says I can, but because we want to make sure we aren't over extending ourselves too soon. But she thinks I could be manic.
Then, they ticked me off. I was SO happy yesterday. Mike called his sister and his mom (sister grilled him) and let them both know he is staying. Gave them our address etc. Savannah and I were cuddling on the couch and she told me that she thinks he is fantastic. It was an almost perfect day. She was SO excited I was going to let her stay home with him today. THEN, my mother calls at 9pm. Apparently, the loser brother's daughter "missed" Savannah and my dad thought it was inappropriate for some guy they didn't know to watch my kid, so they were on the way to pick her up. Not just leaving to get her, already left to get her. Not only was I ticked off, Mike was really hurt, and Savannah was FURIOUS. And she let them know it. She was excited to see her cousins, of course, but she was looking forward to the plans she had made with Mike. GRRRR
They have all decided that he is going to leave me high and dry and heartbroken.
OMG - I almost forgot! (can you tell I am in a chatty mood?) I talked to my friend Tanya and suddenly she has gone from telling her boyfriend she will marry him on their 2 year anniversary to marrying him on MONDAY next week. LOL Can't imagine what would trigger that? Little jealousy? LOL! I was telling Mike I thought that was why she was going to marry him and he started laughing so hard he couldn't talk - turns out he was thinking the same thing.
Anyway - hope you are doing good. I go back to the dr about my infection today (thank god) and hope they can do something. It looks awful. Will talk to you later!
Tracey
btw: http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y243/Kuuanaa/Boys.jpg Mike is in the hat. The other one is John.
Edited 8/1/2005 10:30 am ET ET by th305899

NO!
Oh man, I am so sorry the squatters aren't gone. I know you don't want to go "there" but you might have to. Just for your own well-being (mental and physical).
Yes, I knew (and had warned Mike) that mom was going to pull the med card on me. It still ticked me off. I don't think she was convinced, but really don't care. I am SO happy, and feel so good. And, you ARE right, it isn't all Mike :)
I'm glad you are looking good again. It IS hard to accept your new body size, but at least you know you can work with it. A LOT of men love the size you are - you KNOW that. 18/20 is NOT that big honey - especially as tall as you are. I personally would kill to be an 18/20 again! LOL!!!! Soon though....soon.
You sounded better on Saturday too. I'm glad you are off the cymbalta and onto the Wellbutrin. Hopefully this combo works for ever :)
Love you too :)
btw: I am really working on Oct 22 LOL!!! Not being pushing of course, but I bring it up from time to time. don't Think it is going to happen, might be early next year instead, but we'll see more after he gets a job or when he gets a job offer.
Oct 22 sounds perfect to me!
I know what you mean about not getting a lot done. I did get my shipping and a couple other things done, but now I have just stopped.
I have my follow up appt with the dr this afternoon for my infection, so I am going to pick up Vietnamese (the hot spicy chicken and egg rolls I LOVE) for me and Mike. I just now ordered in lunch (sandwich and salad). I HAVE to stop eating out, but he will be good for that. I wanted to do Olive Garden on Saturday and he told me no - we have enough food at home we don't need to be eating out.
I think you are doing awesome with your thought processes. And you are correct, if you do not get rid of the squatters, they will never leave. Even if you have to get your brother arrested, it will be worth it. You need to take care of you and yours first. You absolutely are not asking too much wanting to have a life and a home for you and your husband. Your parents and your brother and his girlfriend have to realize that.
I am not letting ANYONE get me down about Mike. He is just awesome and I can't see this ending any time soon.
Dieting sucks and it is a curse. I have lost almost 10 lbs now, since I stopped dieting (and I am still drinking sodas). I am watching what I eat a bit, but I am not binging because I am not trying to stop from eating. I think if we are both careful about what we eat, without obsessing or starving, and we start doing a little bit more moving around (I am not playing eq very much) we will both start to lose, despite our meds.
I'm glad you are feeling better - the meds for my infection are making me sick to my stomach all the time and I can't wait for it to be over. I have no clue what they are going to do for this stupid thing - it isn't going away that I can see.
TTYL!
Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing...just being more active etc.
So, my dad calls me.
Number 1 - you don't have to take care of ANYONE in your family except yourself, your son, and then your husband. You can CHOSE to help the others, but make them deserve it...your brother does NOT deserve it. And tell him in no uncertain terms that if he touches ANY of the meds in your house you will have him arrested IMMEDIATELY if not SOONER.
Number 2 - Get him out of your house. And make him leave. and don't let him stay there any more. Oh, and put up a no vacancy sign. GET RID OF HIM. I know it is hard to see him struggle, and to drag Janice and the kid(s?) down with him - but that is her choice to stay with him and to subject their kid(s?) to that life. You cannot save them. I REALLY REALLY worry about possible legal ramifications of him staying at your house. Not to mention that I KNOW what it does to your moods.
As for the rest of it - you take care of you first. Mike will get over going to the mall when it works for you. You just took him out and bought him a ton of stuff. He can be happy with that or get a job. LOL!
One of my new favorite saying - you are a Super Woman, but you don't have to be SUPERWOMAN.
(((HUGS)))
Ugh.
The hardest word to say can be no. But just SAY IT. You KNOW your brother is never going to just turn himself in. That would be the brave thing to do.
When I KNOW I am going to have a hard time saying something, especially to family, I write it down. Then I read it. I don't have to do that much any more, but sometimes.... I know they are great at making you feel guilty, mine is too, but as you keep saying no and they start learning you have boundaries, the guilt goes away. Write a big note and keep it by the phone reminding you that you aren't bad for telling your mom you don't feel like talking. She will get over it. You CAN tell your mom that you are tired and to please not call again until the next day or you won't answer the phone. There is NOTHING wrong with you doing these things. Staying home with your HUSBAND AND SON is not a bad thing. I KNOW your mother needs you. But, your mother doesn't need you as much as she likes you to think, I believe. Yes, she has a lot of medical problems. But, if your dad can leave her home alone during the week and she is ok, then she will be fine on the weekend too. If they start in that she isn't fine, and she HAS to have someone, tell them that they need to look into a nurse. Social security and medicare will cover home care.
You need to start putting you first. Find ways to remind yourself of that and to reward yourself when you do (no punishments for mistakes!!!). It's HARD to break away, but we both need to. This is going to be the hardest part of everything for me too - trying to convince my family to back off....but I am going to come heck or high water. We'll get each other through it.
:)
I just spent the last 15 minutes or so crying my eyes out.