How is everyone today? (8/9)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
How is everyone today? (8/9)
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Tue, 08-09-2005 - 9:16am

Just wanted to see how everyone is doing today????

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 9:51am

Hey Donna! I'm not quite as desperate today, nor as hopeless feeling, so that's better than yesterday. I'm mad at my DH. and my Brother...Just so you know, I have a loser brother, who is on drugs and running from jail...he's also bipolar, unmedicated, VERY unmedicated. Oh well, enough of him.

I am feeling much more calm today. No wellbutrin this morning, thank God, and I knew it was the wellbutrin causing my agitation and cycling. I just didn't think I could survive without an a/d. But I think I can. Maybe the mood stabilizers will work. Maybe my pdoc is RIGHT and I should listen to her! She's only been telling me this for years.

I am still fat, but I'm cute today. That's something. Trying to find the positives whenever I can, to fight the depression. I can still feel it there, behind the scenes so to speak. So if one person is mean to me, it will be bad.

I went home last night and took my meds early. I ate and pb&j sandwich and a salad and went to bed. Fell asleep around 9ish. Am a little sleepy still this morning, but once the grogginess of the Seroquel goes away, I'll be better.

I had a hard time writing this. The Topamax is making me so DUMB! It makes you forget words you want to use, and its funny, but not.

Love and Hugs,
Keli

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Registered: 02-06-2004
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 11:51am

I'm doing good Donna, thanks for asking!


I am about 2 weeks stable (of course I forget when it started so I'll just have to guess). I had a rough patch for a few days but I didn't let those blahs get me down and it wasn't the depressive phase returning. Thank God!


I've been trying to get some stuff done while I'm well, but only get about one out of three things done every day. I planned on working on my room, studying and riding my bike every day. I'm trying to work up to 1/2 hr by next week. Gotta stop procrastinating and spending all my time on the computer. I can't seem to study at home though! I've been doing it on the bus when I go places.


Well that's AFN.


Amanda

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Registered: 06-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 11:54am

I'm so glad you are feeling better....wellbutrin, blah, not my friend either...made me the biggest you know what..well ok, didn't make me, but it didn't help either.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 11:56am

oh good, I'm glad you are better...I was going to post you soon and ask how you are doing....


DH said he would buy me a bike...of corse haven't done it yet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 12:12pm

Donna...honey, I know how you feel. It sucks...but hang in there. I do the SAME thing at work. Today, I've actually been working. Have no choice, either that, or get fired. LOL. I'm still okay. Taking it an hour at at time. Will feel myself start getting in that dark place again, and I'll try to distract myself with something else. Doesn't always work, but keeping myself busy at work is sorta helping too.

I have only had a banana today. I know, bad...but I don't wanna eat. Eating is what made me this FAT anyway. Dang it. and dang Lithium too. The Topamax has taken away my appetite too, so I don't want anything.

I know what you mean about your dh's family...ugh. But you can do it. You're tough! How long are they staying???

About your surgery on Friday...is it out patient? Will you be in the hospital? I'll be thinking of you!

I told someone off this morning, heeheehee...he deserved it though. Felt empowering.

I am not the doormat...repeat after me, I am NOT the door mat...that is my mantra.

Punk.

Sorry, got a little off topic there.

I need to go clean out my car on my lunch break, but probably won't. Will probably just leave work a half hour early instead. Then I won't be tempted to get fast food somewhere.

Hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 12:15pm

Girlfriend...don't you know that one out of three things is AWESOME! I can't do even that most days. Keep up the good work. I'm soooooo glad you've had some stability finally. I'd like to get back there again. Hopefully, I can now, that I'm off a/d's. The Wellbutrin made me CRAZY as heck. OMG. You have no idea.

Anyway, hang in there. Don't force yourself to do anything. Do what comes naturally. Enjoy life while its good, honey. Don't take it for granted.

Love ya,

Keli

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Registered: 09-01-2004
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 12:21pm

I'm hangling in there--my biggest problem right now is breathing!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2004
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 12:34pm

I feel funny posting to this thread because I haven't been around too long but I have to start somewhere.

I am feeling really depressed and anxious right now. Depression is the more prominent of my moods. Still trying to get stable (I was dx'd in October). I just had my anti-d upped because of suicidal thoughts. I am pissed at my pdoc because she will only give me one month of meds at a time and the cost is astronomical, even though ins. pays half. The abilify costs $295.00 per month. That is a sin in my book and that is only 1 of 4 meds I take for this stupid disorder.

A little over a week ago I was told I have a 'suspicious' spot on my stomach wall and I am having a biopsy on Thursday. Needless to say I am petrified. When my primary doc said 'cancer' I freaked. Between the SA and BP I think I 've been through enough. Sorry I haven't invited all of you to my pity party :o) This terrifies me even though primary doc says cancer is unlikely. Why do they even mention that word if it is unlikely.

I am at work now and am obviously unable to concentrate so I came on-line to check the boards. But I guess I should force myself to get back to work.

Sarah

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 12:44pm

Sarah, of course you're freaked out and terrifed! OMG...I'm sorry! That is absolutely a sin for your meds to be so much. My pdoc will give me the least expensive meds we can get away with. So sorry.

Now, I know this isn't going to be possible, but TRY to not freak out about your biopsy. The anxiety will get worse, which in turn causes your BP to get worse. I know though, easier said than done.

You are welcome here ANY TIME to post whatever you need or want to post about. We're here for you.

I too, am dealing with (read that, need to start dealing with SA) and that can put a monkey wrench into the whole dang thing. It terrifies me to pick a therapist and start working on it. But I have no choice now. I'm so messed up.

Anyway, many many hugs! Try to hang in there. Post again, if you want, I'll check later.

Love and Hugs,
Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 2:49pm

A banana...I wish.

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