Marci, Amanda, Traci and Jodi

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Registered: 04-06-2005
Marci, Amanda, Traci and Jodi
8
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 10:36am

How are we doing today ladies????


Marci, did the weather break yet?

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Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 10:45am

Hey Donna,


I wish I could say I'm doing great after making that call. But right now I feel like I'm doing something "sneaky" and therefore, wrong/bad. The depression is weaving its way in and its just not what I had hoped for - that feeling of empowerment. I don't know, maybe I should have just left this whole mess alone. But then my kids don't get what they need, so I couldn't really leave it be. But, now I feel like I've done something really bad by calling the child support enforcement people.


Why can't he just accept his responsibility as a father and do what he is supposed to do? It's times like this when I remember part of the reason I divorced him in the first place.


I just hate feeling the way I do. Logically I know I'm doing the right thing, but emotionally is a

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 10:54am

I know right now it doesn't feel good.

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Registered: 02-06-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 11:04am

I'm okay. I keep getting hints that I'm getting manic - talkative, trouble sleeping etc - although it hasn't gotten any worse, so maybe I'm going to stay hypomanic as long as I"m at this level of medication. You can't start decreasing your mood stabilizer and not expect to get manic, I'd say.


I actually called the centre for student development (CSD), which is just the type of thing to make me anxious. I called and changed my tdoc appointment because it is when I'll be away. I also tried to get an appointment with my disability counsellor but she's away this week, and a personal counsellor but she's booked. At least I made the call, but how am I going to get through this trip without seeing someone first.


This anxiety is going to kill me!


Amanda

co-cl of the Get Organized board

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 11:36am

For him, it's all about *his* money. And, as long as I don't go near the subject we get along fine, but the second I bring up the subject I suddenly don't understand how hard it is for him to live on his income and how he was the victim in the divorce because he had to part with his money for child support. He's a regular jeckyl/hyde. And I just hate getting yelled at by him. Sounds childish I know, but it just makes me go deeper into depression and I don't need that right now.


I guess what it comes down to is he's going to yell at me either way I go, so I might as well do what's right for my kids and let him yell about that instead of me doing nothing and being treated like dirt......again. His favorite past time.


I'm just tired of being under his control. And, until my youngest graduates high school that's where I'm going to be. I can't move without his approval, and until I graduate college I'm stuck with a low-paying job which makes it to where I have to depend on his support checks and he just loves that because that's when he can make me sweat.


Tdoc told me last week that I tend to shy away from conflict and that's why she was so happy to see me so mad that day. And I think the key is getting me back to boiling point so I can maintain the nerve to proceed with this. I know it has to be done I'm just afraid I can't do it.


Well, thanks for listening. I'll keep you posted. I meet w/ tdoc again later today. We'll see what happens there.


Hugs,


Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 11:53am

It is so hot here if feels like I'm stepping out into a sauna. I'm trying to deal with extremely painful tendonitis in my right wrist. Painful all the way up into my shoulder. It's very annoying because I key all day which makes it worse and I can't find my brace.

I see my tdoc today. I haven't seen him in almost two months. I hate going. I haven't decided if this will work or not. But I've only gone twice so I will go at least a couple more times to give it a chance. I'm just looking forward to the weekend so I can give my wrist a rest!
Have a good day ladies! :)
Jodie

Jodie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 11:57am

yep...I didn't want the conflict either...had enough when we were married.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 2:00pm

Donna,


I'm here--had a VERY rough night.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Thu, 08-11-2005 - 2:13pm

(((Marci)))

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