Is he bipolar? I need help coping

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2004
Is he bipolar? I need help coping
4
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 12:12am
I have been dating a guy for a few weeks, we are both in our 30's. Our first few dates were wonderful, he was always saying how much fun he was having, how much he liked me, talking about the future, being affectionate and calling me honey constantly. We had a lot of fun together. Then, instantly he was like a different person. I felt like he was bored/mad/irritated to be talking to me on the phone - even tho he was the one who called me! At some points he was even downright rude. No "honeys", no plans for the immediate future (dates), nothing. What did I do wrong?? I'm confused because he is still pursuing me (he is the one who calls, I don't for fear of bothering him) and when I give a little dig like, oh you don't want to talk to me anymore he is perplexed why I would say something like that. Like he doesn't realize he is giving me the "I'm not interested in you anymore" vibe. I know how much guys hate the "where does our relationship stand" talk so I have avoided that but now I'm almost to the point where I just want to get out since I feel like I've done something wrong to make him upset. I have no idea what that might be, especially to go from "I really like you I may want to marry you someday" to the not interested vibe. And, no I have not been pressuring him in any way about our relationship, whenever he would say things about the future I would just smile and nod. I guess I'm just wondering if he could be bipolar (a friend went thru this with her fiance and it sounded like a explanation) or is he just trying nicely to get rid of me??? HELP!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 8:13am

Bipolar is so much more than that. Its a real medical condition that causes SO much more than just a little moodiness.

You should just talk to him and ask him why he is acting like that with you. There are relationship boards on IVillage and I'm positive they would be very supportive and very helpful in this instance.

Maybe others here can relate too. I don't know. Sorry!

Hugs!

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 9:45am

I agree with Keli, you should be honest with him (don't tell him you think he's bp) but tell him how you feel.

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Avatar for littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 2:15pm

I agree, sounds like communication problems more than a serious mental illness. Here's some links to help:

How to Communicate Better
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,npcm,00.html

Get Through to Your Man: 5 Tips for Better Communication
http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,84s,00.html

3 Communication Pitfalls to Avoid
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,7mcw,00.html

Speak Up! Ask him for what you want
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,7ffztdxn,00.html

5 Secrets of Getting a Man to Open Up
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,saver_79jcxw99,00.html

littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 2:21pm
Those are great !!!
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God could not be everywhere, so