my cure is worse than the disease

Avatar for suziq_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
my cure is worse than the disease
3
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 3:55pm
ok...well...maybe not worse.my bipolar disorder which for years was misdiagnosed & mistreated as borderline.
my husband didn't seem to be on my side & i was alone in fighting an uphill battle.
finally i had an epic manic episode followed by drinking drugs & suicide attempts.
it was bad & my husband said...it's time to go to the hospital.
i came down with the dreaded lamictal rash & had to clean my body of all drugs b/f going on treatment with prozac & lithium.
my hospitalization ran out b/f i could get my electro shock but no matter...the meds were doing the same as that would have.
so i managed to hold down a job(my 1st in 10 years & salvage a marraige i had torn to peices.
at the time i was on a weight loss program & kept gaining.i asked my dr over & over about it & at one point was thinking i must be eating in my sleep!
finally a few thousand dollars of jenny craig later & make the doc take a thyroid test & that's not it but he has found out that lithium will put on 30 pounds no matter what.
so i dropped my caffeine & lost my carbs & i'm STILL gaining.
i'd also like to mention that the lithium has me peeing every 5 minutes...no joke!
i get no sleep & after 7 pm i have to be near a bathroom which mean upstairs.i also can't go anyplace where there is NO bathroom.
SO....yesterday when the 3rd person stopped me to ask if i'm expecting & i took alot of pleasure in saying....NO.I'M JUST FAT................
but my heart was broken.i've tried to come to terms with this new body & i cannot.
so i called my h & my shrink & told them i was ditching the lithium.
what i HATE is that it WORKS.
but i cannot take the side effects....starving just to stay fat & constant peeing.
what would you do??????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:19pm

is this anon??? i remember you from way back on another board, and thought i recognized you...

anyway, i can totally relate. i gained the 30 on lithium too...but it kept me from being manic and i would take that over the weight gain any day. i'm cycling pretty badly right now, but i'm working closely with my pdocs and am finding out i have other issues to work on that are causing a lot of my problems (mostly antidepressants which I just got off of).

Stick with your lithium. You do NOT want to go there again and you will in a HEART BEAT if you come off it. I promise you, you WILL. I know it sucks. The only other med that works as good as Lithium on mania is Depakote and it causes even MORE weight gain.

I know that isn't what you wanted to hear, honey! But you have to figure out what is best for your life and your marriage. I hated it with all my heart too. Still do. But I cannot go through those horrible unmedicated manias ever again.

I hope you will continue to post here.

Oh, by the way, how long have you been on the Lithium? The bathroom thing should have calmed down a little bit. Have you had a level done recently? You need one done if you are still going that much. How much water are you drinking? That makes a difference. You might not be getting enough. Sounds weird, but its not.

Hugs, and if this is you, how is everything going????? I have wondered often about you!

Keli

Avatar for atober
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 4:36pm

I have not been diagnosed as BP yet officially but my tdoc threw it out there and then said I could see the pdoc in a month. So anyway at the very least I suffer from AD and GAD. I am taking zoloft, elavil and xanax. Ever since being on the zoloft, which is working by the way, I have been gaining weight like crazy. I may have to buy a new wardrobe soon if I can't stop eating. Anyway, I think I am going to discuss this with the pdoc when I see him and hope he can offer an alternative. Being overweight just makes me more depressed. Hopefully I won't split all my work pants with my big butt before I can see the pdoc in September.

I know what you are going through and hope that we both can find a medicine alternative that will work without the weight gain side effects.

Let me know what you find out from your next visit.

Alison

Avatar for schitz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2004
Thu, 08-25-2005 - 5:21pm

I too have the weight problem going on, and I'm on epival not lithium but might be going on Li next. I don't want to think that I'll gain another 30 to the 20 that I've already gained. I'm not even eating that much and still gain. No matter what I can't seem to stop gaining weight. That and the acne make me wonder about PCOS which epival (oh, that's depakote btw) has been implicated in. I'm hoping that once I've been off the meds for a while things will even out but if it's PCOS then I don't think that it will matter any way. Still, I won't even be off the epival for a couple months. Pdoc is taking it slow. (too slow IMHO)



Well that's just my two cents


Amanda

co-cl of the Get Organized board

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