supporting my friend w/ bi-polar

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
supporting my friend w/ bi-polar
4
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 8:39am

Hi all

I'm just swinging by from the Relationships channel - where I normally hang out - with something I'd like to discuss.

I have a very good O/S friend who was diagnosed with bi-polar a couple of years ago. She used to have a lot of mood swings and I eventually suggested that she get checked for depression (which I suffer from - and take meds for). She did, and then discovered that she's got bi-polar. Apparently it's the more mild version???

Anyway, she's working closely with her doctor and nurse - but now that she's taking meds it's like she's dead inside. She used to be so vibrant and now it's like all her spark has gone and we both notice it. From writing to each other on a daily basis (probably encouraged because I have obsessional tendancies), these days she can barely put fingers to keyboard....and we're talking a duration of more than a year so far.

I know it's not just me, because she's barely able to get out and socialise with her R/L friends either.

I will always be there for her - but I feel so impotent while I'm on the other side of the world.

I suppose that what I'm wanting to ask is: is feeling 'dead' a common side effect of the drugs? Are there any websites that are helpful for friends wanting to give support?

I was going to ask about giving her space (not wanting to add more pressure) but I suppose the obvious answer there is to "ask her" LOL (I'm always giving that advice on relationship boards - should take it myself)

anyway, thanks in advance
Aisha

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 10:05am

Does her doctor/nurse know she feels this way?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 11:17am

Hi Aisha,

I have a little experience with what you are describing... and it definitly could be her meds... Finding the right combination for bipolar is a crap shoot and a lot of us have tried many different things to find the right one(s).

I have experienced that sort of 'dead' feeling (but it's gotten a bit better now on a different medication...)

Of course, depression is also a part of bipolar and can cause a definite drop in 'vibrancy'. I have been mostly depressed for over a year, so it can happen.

It is a complicated disease but do keep writing her... because I'm betting she's feeling very alone right now and contact with friends may keep her going.

Avatar for littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 2:13pm
Hi Aisha,
I agree...she should mention it to her doc, it could be the meds aren't right for her, aren't the right level or she is depressed. As always, if she feels ignored, hopefully she can seek another DR's advice. I go through stages where I am stable and then even on the same meds get very depressed and feel the way you describe your friend. Bipolar disorder, as I am sure you know, is complicated and sometime difficult though not impossible (even when it feels that way!) to treat.

littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 5:46pm

thanks everyone for your help.

It's good to know that how she's feeling need not be a life sentence. While keeping up my normal chit-chat, I'll know that it's OK to encourage her to keep trying for a good drug mix.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace