Traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Traci
5
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 9:13am

Traci


I just wanted to see how you are this morning....did tdoc ever call you back?




"You win some, you lose some, you wreck some." -- Dale Earnhardt
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 12:43pm

*possible triggers*


i did call tdoc and tdoc eventually called me back. she asked me point blank if i was si'ing. well as much as i wanted to tell her no, i had to be honest with her. i told her i had been which was why i turned my knives over to her. she wasn't there the day i left them, but her partner was so i left them with her to give to tdoc.


i met with tdoc this a.m. and she had me sign a contract. she is also calling pdoc because she's concerned that i keep crashing. i should be relatively stable by now. she's going to see about getting me on the lithium sooner than the 2 weeks pdoc told me to wait for the seroquel to take effect. i have mixed feelings about that one. i want to feel better, but i'm kinda scared of lithium and its side effects. i've had so many problems with side effects that i'm afraid to try yet more new meds, especially lithium.


i don't know. i just want the thoughts to stop and leave me alone. tdoc asked me today if i thought school was adding to the depression. i told her i think that is the only thing that has kept me from totally losing it and doing something REALLY stupid. it's something i absolutely have to focus on. otherwise i don't know that i'd even be here today typing this. i just want/need(?) a break from this mess. like so many of us here right now do. and i really don't want to go i/p to do it. i want to be able to do this and keep my daily grind going. i can't let bp win and take over totally.


i'm starting to ramble so i'll stop here. i just wanted to give an update. thanks for asking donna.


traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 1:42pm

I'm glad you told her the truth, I hope they and you do whatever it takes to get better.


I'll be thinking of you, hang in there, you can do this !!!




"You win some, you lose some, you wreck some." -- Dale Earnhardt
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 6:12pm

Traci,


I'm glad you told tdoc the truth, she can only help you if she knows what's really going on.

Avatar for littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 6:23pm
I am glad you told the truth to her and she is concerned enough to call pdoc. You just have to do what it takes to get better, and you will get better, this won't be forever. You're doing great so far, doing all the right things (like trusting your docs and asking for help). The others said some really good stuff, I have no personal experience with lithium, but I hope you tolerate it well and it works. When will you start it?

littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: cl_igemini53182
Mon, 08-29-2005 - 10:42pm

marci,


the water and staying out of the heat and bladder control are what have me worried. in my line of work i don't have 'ready access' to a bathroom and little control over the heat at this time of the year. i like propel, but i'm not much on regular water. i guess i'll have to start liking it. but it's mainly the bathroom thing that really worries me. that and having the blood work done. it's funny knives don't phase me, but needles terrify me. go figure. i guess it's cause the nurses have a really hard time finding my veins and i walk out looking like a poster child for Band Aid.


i'm not sure when this will take place, if it takes place. the seroquel was only changed on thursday. pdoc said to allow 2 weeks for the change to really make a difference. so i don't know how eager he'll be to change right now. as of 5:00 tdoc hadn't heard back from him. DD has an appt with tdoc tomorrow evening, so hopefully we'll know something by that point. i'm going to try some relaxation techniques tonight that a good friend sent to me.


on the one hand i want to switch the meds, but on the other i'd rather wait and see if the seroquel works. but i don't know how long i can hold out while waiting for that to happen. god i hate bp! anyway, thanks for your continued support. i will keep you posted as sensibly as possible. these days that isn't much and i apologize. but i'll try.


hugs,
traci