rapid cycleing
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rapid cycleing
| Mon, 08-29-2005 - 10:52pm |
i guess i just wanted some advice on how to deal with rapid cycleing. if you read my earlier posts you know i have been acting pretty stupid lately. in the midst of that my meds were doubled. anyway, the extra drugs finally kicked in thank god. i am not hypomanic anymore. at least not to the point of ruining my life. unfortunately, since then i have been cycleing 2 or 3 times a day. it is really annoying not knowing how i will be tomarrow, let alone in the next hour. i am really getting tierd of this. at first i thought i was heading back towards depression. that is the first thing i felt, but since then i have been on a terrible roller coaster ride, and i can't get off. i tried to see my p doc today. i don't have a new theripist yet. they didn't have any open appointments, so i will have to wait like 2 weeks. can i do this for 2 more weeks? i have my doubts. dh is being very understanding. maybe he figures as long as i'm not makeing out with strangers it will all be ok. but i can't expect him to deal with my mood swings if i can't even do it myself. i think maybe my meds need to be adjusted, but again , that would require seeing the doctor. i guess i am just looking for something to get me through until i can see the pdoc. on top of that we have a perspective buyer comeing to look at the house this week , and i am totally obsessing, and nervious about it. we need to sell this house. i need some time off work, and as long as we live here i can't. dh might be getting a great promotion, but even if he gets it, it will be april before we see a pay increase. too late. by then i will have ruined my entire life along with everyone elses in my family, if i continue as i had been. anyway i am rambling. i will go to bed now since i have to get up at 4 am to go to work. yeah...any thoughts, advice, proof that i am not the only one who feels this way would be greatly appriciated. thanx in advance.
becky
becky


hey becky,
of course you're not alone honey! welcome to the club!!! it sucks, to rapid cycle...its all i've done for years now, with period of some stability in between...i've been in a really rough episode lately, rapid cycling big time, with lots of rage, and hostility thrown in for good measure...been pretty depressed for about a week and a half now and I'm totally ready for it to go away.
you can get through this, i promise. do you mind sharing what meds you're on now and what dosages? i'm on lithium, 900mgs; topamax 250 mgs; ativan 1mg 2x a day; and seroquel as needed. but i hate seroquel.
anyway, you aren't ever alone...and we can help you as much as we can to get through this episode. it won't be easy, i'll be honest about that...rapid cycling never is...but its not impossible either, with a lot of hard work and close contact with your doctors. i'm fighting tooth and nail going inpatient, but if i have to, i will go. is that an option for you at all?
i'm here for you and i know exactly exactly exactly what you are going through. forgive my stupid post to you before, okay? i reacted because i truly FEEL crazy sometimes. that day was a perfect example of it.
hang in there...post later, i'll be here all day.
love and hugs,
keli
any way, i am at work so i gotta go. just wanted to say thanx and god bless.
becky
hey Becky
Just wanted to see how you are doing today???
Rapid cycling does suck.
God could not be everywhere, so
Hey Becky. No, you're not the only one who feels that way at the moment. I've been out of my mind for the last 2 weeks. I suffer from depression and have a tendency toward mania, but I had a real tragedy in my life recently and that's sent me spiralling into outer orbit.
I can totally relate to the joke about "making out with strangers." I'm doing some pretty crazy things myself. I just separated from my H of 19 years, and one morning last week I thought to call a realtor and put my house up for sale. Mind you, I'm not living in the house right now because it's been under construction for the last 4 months to make it handicapped-accessible for my totally physically handicapped DS8. I had the phone in my hand and everything, and for some reason I was able to talk sense to myself and not take that step.
I want to try anything and everything to pull myself out of this feeling. I want to know that everything is going to be okay and I want it to be okay right now. So I'm doing all kinds of stupid things to make it better instantly.
I posted on the BP board yesterday that life just isn't moving fast enough for me right now. Everything seems to be in slow motion and I'm losing my patience everywhere. The fact that I havent sleep a full n ight in about a week isn't helping either. The only way I get ANY relief is when I'm at work. Then I'm just focused on my cases and I don't let my mind wander too much.
I'm tired from sleep deprivation and an exhausting life. I'm losing faith. And I can't stand this big top inside my head. Big hugs, honey, I do know just how you feel. Love, Mo.