Hello

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Hello
4
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:03pm

Just thought I'd check in...I'm doing okay. I had the day off yesterday, and was SO busy all day...had so many things to do...getting groceries, stuff my son needed for football, getting my lovely meds, etc. I got my raise, about $103 extra in my check and it was so nice to have. Got my bills paid, stuff we needed, and was able to get my cable turned back on, finally, after putting it off for a year and a half...believe me, I NEEDED IT! I was so sick of movies! I got a couple things for myself, hair color and makeup mostly and a new book...nothing too extravagant, and I have enough money left over for the month, if I force myself to manage it properly. That shouldn't be a problem as the last 2 months have taught me a really hard lesson.

We are in the midst of a gas crisis down here in the Southern states, due to Hurricane Katrina killing the pipelines. They shut down a major one last night, and folks had to SCRAMBLE to fill up before we ran out of fuel...I waited in line for 30 minutes to pay $3.02 a gallon. Its going to get worse by the weekend...we should be at $4. I filled up and we just aren't going to drive unless we have to. Its major and its so so so much more than I can afford. Having one car now is turning out to be a blessing.

I have therapy tonight, first appointment...not really scared, but nervous I guess. Actually, looking forward to it. I can't afford it, but I can't NOT afford it either. I've cut back on my meds some, my dosages were WAY too high and were causing much of my depression. I feel much better now. I don't know why I always forget that too much mood stabilizers ALWAYS, without fail, depress me to no end.

You guys, I can't eat. I've lost over 15 pounds in about 2.5 weeks. My face is thin again, and the "fat" clothes I bought, are too big...the size 20 jeans that used to be too tight, I can roll the waist down twice and they still fall down...I am TRYING to eat...I just can't eat. I eat a little bit here and a little bit there...I tried to eat dinner last night, but could only manage to eat 3 tiny hot wings, the little drummies, and then took my lithium...big mistake...got pretty dizzy and very nauseated...ugh...so i got up, and made a pbj sandwich and ate about 3/4 of that with some milk...have had nothing today and the thought of food is disgusting. This is my ED. I knew it would be back once I got on the Topamax again. I know I have to eat. I brought small stuff with me to work. Maybe I can manage to snack some during the day. I've not had a soda in 2 months. I drink mostly water, or sweet tea. Oh well. I've also taken the stairs four times today too. I'm getting to the point where I'm gonna (start??) obsessing. Don't wanna go there again. But its coming. I colored my hair blonde again, love it.

Well, not much going on with me...amazingly enough. I am sane enough this week to work, so I've been working. It still SOOOOOOOOO hot here...ugh. Couldn't sleep much last night, but I'm not manic. I don't think so anyway. No, I know I'm not. Just didn't sleep good. I am NOT taking Seroquel just to sleep either. I could have taken Ativan, and I don't know why I didn't. DUH. I wanted to watch LOST and read my new book. Then fell asleep anyway...just kept waking up later.

I am now rambling on about boring stuff you guys don't wanna hear. So, I'm gonna go.

Hugs,

Keli

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:15pm

(((((((((((keli)))))))))))) i'm glad to hear you had such a productive day yesterday. that's awesome. i'm gonna try to keep this short, cause i'm in a rmabiling mood today.


i just want to wish you all my best for your t today. i have t tody too. i'm not sure i'm ready for mine today at all.


as for the ed, even if it's just a bag of chips of something try to eat as much as you can. like several snak breaks. i've found over the past few days that's how i've started boosting my appetite back. of course, i'm sure quitting the cigs helped too. but, the way the quit has affected my meds i'm not sure that was a good thing or not. but now the meds are adjusted and we'll see. not sure how much sweet tea you drink, but if it's got caffeine in it, that's probably not helping your lack of appetite. if it's decaf, then that's probably not it. just a thought.


okay, i'm starting to go way off course. i just want you to know i'm sending you tons of ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))) and positive vibes and good houghts for you today. it will be hard, but sooooooooooooo worth it!!!!!!!! and you know how to get ahold of me if you need to, i think. i'll e-mail you again in case you don't have my cell #. as loopy as i've been lately i'm a real sticth to hold a conversation with. lol.


love ya girl!
traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:27pm

lol, even your posts are pretty funny right now, girl...

you can email me your cell...i don't have anyone's numbers anymore...

kelir123@yahoo.com

i'll be around all weekend, I AM NOT GOING TO MY MOTHERS!!! lol

so i'll go check my email...

i will, i will!!!

my cable gets turned saturday morning, so i will get to watch the fsu/miami game, or rather, my ds and his friends can and i can watch bits and pieces and watch fsu get stomped!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 12:38pm

email is sent and i even remembered to put the cell number in it! gold star for me!


i hope you have a great weekend at home and get the chance to relax. and spend quality time with ds and dh. you so deserve it.


love ya,


traci

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
In reply to: keli003
Thu, 09-01-2005 - 1:39pm

Keli


I'm so proud of you girl !!!

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