figuring things out. - poss. trigs

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
figuring things out. - poss. trigs
5
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 1:22pm

okay, the fog is gone, the depressive episode is gone and my rage has skyrocketed!


this morning ds was supposed to clear out under his bed so i could move it out of his room to make way for his new bed. while i was getting ready for work, he told me he needed help doing this. i'm used to this, as it's a normal response from him when i tell him to do anything with his room that resembles 'cleaning'. i stopped what i was doing and went in to help him - basically holding the bed frame up so he could get under there and do the cleaning. anyway, it interrupted my 'morning routine.' so, on my way to work, i realized i'd left w/o my cell phone which i hate doing because then the school's can't get ahold of me if anything happens to the kids before i get home from my morning bus run. it's that 'powerless' feeling. so i REALLY got po'd.


got home, and mom told me i needed to find a permission slip for my 12 yo dd so SHE could take it to the school, and if i couldn't find it, SHE would just request a new one. totally taking control of

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 1:35pm

Traci


I'm so happy for you, and I'm very proud of you !!!

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 7:46pm

Traci,


Good for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 10:22pm

yeah, this has been a thorn in my side ever since she retired from teaching 2 years ago. unfortunately there are not many people in the local school system who do not know her and therefore never even think to question it. as for signing the forms, it's not so much that she signs them, she 'needs' to give them to me to sign so she can make sure the kids get the things in their backpacks before they leave for school. it's a passive-aggressive thing combined with a massive control issue with her. the kids did not know what was going to come down but they had an idea momma wasn't happy and when i walked in the house, they knew i wasn't happy. but i blew my stack and laid down my law.


then i had to yell at my 15 yo dd because she wanted to go to a football game at her school. when she couldn't find her purse she changed her mind because she felt guilty about taking my 5 dollars that i gave her so she could go. i actually yelled at her and got mad at her for not going. this kid never doe anything with her real friends. she's always barracaded in the house talking to her friends on the computer. mind you, that's not a bad thing, but it will do her good to get out of the house once in a while too. she is, after all, in high school and this is when she should start spreading those wings a little bit. the high school is like 2 minutes away. i know her friends. and she's got my cell with her so i can go pick her up when the game is over. not only is she bp, she's i think more co-dependent than i am.........and that's bad! but, i finally got her to go and i just got back from picking her up and OMG, guess what?!? she had fun! yippee!!!!!!!!!!! maybe we made a little progress tonight:)


but now i'm too tired for my margaritas..........oh well there's always tomorrow night;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Fri, 09-02-2005 - 11:22pm

I am so sorry for you guys who have to live at home. See I was too stubborn for that, I chose to be homeless than live with my mother, because I refused to deal with that...and it all worked out in the end. It just means that you all are stronger people than I am. Good luck with the mothers....but always remember, they cleaned your butt for you for at least a few years so they deserve some credit, but not nearly as much as THEY think they do :D

Rebekah

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Sat, 09-03-2005 - 9:18am

thanks rebekah. the last part of your statement is a large part of why i'm where i am right now. the problem is that in less than a week i will be 39 and still doing for her. this woman, although i do love her, has expected more out of me than i could ever live up to and when i don't likes to remind me of my shortcomings. it's part of the disease of alcoholism and i know that now.


i guess between my bp and my ACOA issues moving out right now is more than i can handle financially as well as emotionally. i have a lot of mixed emotions about the whole thing right now, but the one thing i know is that one day, as soon as i am able, i am taking my 3 kids and moving out. i just don't know when that day will be.


hugs,
traci