Keli
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Keli
| Mon, 09-12-2005 - 10:57am |
Hey girl! Sorry I didn't call this weekend - crazy busy all weekend. I thought about you often - hope you are doing ok.
Had an interview this morning, went fantastic. I should hear about a 2nd interview later this week. Everything else going well.
How are you and what's going on??? Let me know.
Love you!!!!
Tracey

that's good about your interview...i'm glad it went well...
i'm not well...sick physically and really depressed. have some kind of flu, or virus...
the prozac is doing jack...i'm tired of fighting and tired of pretending and tired of laying in bed because i can't face anything else.
i'm just tired.
it may be time for the hospital, but i don't want to let everyone down...and work will know...and my kid will hate me for it...my mom will worry...my boss will think, well you know what they will think...
i don't know what to do anymore...i just know i can't do it much longer...i just can't.
(((((((Keli))))))) Sweetie! You would NOT be letting anyone down if you checked yourself in to the hospital!!!!! If that's what you need right now, then that is what needs to be done. You know we love you girl! We want you to take care of yourself.....THAT'S what is important here!
It sounds like this may be the time to go i/p. If you are to *that point* staying safe is uber important hon! And the hospital is a safe place.
Keep us posted on what you decide and how you are doing. Okay?
Love Ya Girl!
Traci
I'm glad you posted....I've been REALLY worried about you.
1. If the prozac isn't working, find out if it should be already and if it should be and isn't - dump it. One less chemical in your body.
2. Make sure you get better physically. You know that wears you down emotionally to not feel well. At the same time, you could be getting sick more often because you are depressed - endless loop.
3. Who the heck CARES what work or anyone else says. You need to do what is best for you. If you get to the point that you feel it is necessary for the hospital, then you go. Your son won't hate you for it- that's just silly. He may be worried and upset, but that is all. Your mom worries about everything all the time, so don't worry about that. Your work can take a flying leap...they are lucky you haven't contacted a lawyer about them already. You worry about YOU - nothing else until you are feeling better.
4. You would NOT, under ANY circumstances, be letting ANYONE down if you went in-patient again. In fact, I would be really ticked off at you if you struggled while you knew you needed to be IP just because of what other people might think.
Ok - you HATE the thought of this, but maybe you need to talk to your pdoc about a leave of absence from work, at least until you have gone through the stuff you and your tdoc have planned. Eric can work, and you can see about state assistance, until you get back on your feel. Your employer CANNOT fire you for using FMLA. They can't. You are guaranteed to be given your job, or a comperable one (at the same pay) back at the end of your leave.
Right now you need to concentrate on getting through all of stuff you and tdoc are working on and getting yourself stable again. You need to remove every possible stress you can.
Take care and I'll talk to you later! Love you!
Tracey
Keli
Girl, you do what you need to do for YOU !!!
God could not be everywhere, so
hi my love,
sounds like you're getting some really good advice here. i'd listen to it if i were you.