What's up with this?!?! - Trigs!
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What's up with this?!?! - Trigs!
| Thu, 09-15-2005 - 10:11am |
Okay, for almost 2 weeks I've been in a really good place. Now, my mood is still stable, I guess. But for some reason, "stable mood" and all, I just want to stop! I am looking at a very bleak future because my finances are way beyond screwed and I just keep managing to dig myself into a deeper hole by trying to get a handle on this blasted bp! So, to get better, I'm making myself worse!
This makes no sense to me and thoughts are back and it's just a mess. Can someone please tell me what in the world is going on here?!?!
Traci



hey traci...
i'm sorry...i can't give you much advice, not in the place to do so...but wanted to let you know i was thinking of you...
here's hoping its just a bad day...okay?
love ya,
k.
Hey Keli,
No problem. You've got plenty on your plate girl! The advice you've been given is better than I can give, but I really hope you are honest w/ pdoc and do what you NEED to do! We love ya and care about ya. I really want to see you get through this! I know you can. And, sometimes we just have to believe that someone else believes enough for us.
Love Ya,
Traci
Finances suck.....enough said!!!!
We too are having a hard time. In April Jeff lost his job working as a truck driver/delivery man for Pepsi Co which is one of the big ones. There is no such thing as job security. He ended up losing his job because of me. He was constantly late because I wasn't waking up in order to get Jeremiah off to school/or on time until CPS came into our life. Well by the time I was getting really good at getting Jeremiah off to school the damage was already done and the points had already aquired. He had one slip up because the bosses got their messages crossed when we took a long weekend at the end of March for a much needed break. The reviewed what had happened and made it all Jeff's fault even though Jeff had documentation stating the bosses were at fault.
Needless to say Jeff was out of work from April 11th to May 27th when he got the job he's currently at. It is now September and we are finally going to be done doing the catch up game only to go back under next month. We have all of our normal bills plus about $500 in license plates due in October and Jeremiah's 9th birthday party as well. I can't do without his party and we can't do without license plates for our vehicles.
I have been trying ever since Jeff got fired in April to find a job. I've put in applications in a 5 mile radius from our home and even called every last one of them back to check on the status of the hiring phase multiple times. My work history is so crappy (which forces me to lie on my apps) and my credit history is beyond crappy (yes jobs specifically look at that) so I am considered unhireable unless I rely on family & friends to help me get my foot in the door. I do have one job prospect out of all of those which my SIL is helping me along with so I'm still hopeful. If I can land this job then things won't look so dreary for next month. This means that we will be able to have Christmas this year as well. December is a bad month because of Christmas and Brieanna's bday is the 19th and mine on the 24th. I can skip getting presents even if it will leave me depressed. I'll deal with it just so my kids can be happy.
Right now Jeff is stressed over finances and he's thinking of ways to make money just so we can break even....isn't that sad?
Christina; wife to Jeff; mom to Jeremiah, Brieanna, & Gavin
IT SUCKS IT SUCKS IT SUCKS !!!
I hate paying bills, I hate having the responsiblity...I really thought once dh and I got seperate checking accounts, things would be so much better WRONG !!!
God could not be everywhere, so
I wish it was just the money. That's what I zeroed in on 'cuz out of all of it, as much as it sucks, it's probably the most easy to overcome.
My mom is REALLY grating on my absolute last nerve and I'm at a total loss as to what to do about that. As, there's really nothing I CAN do at the moment. Her most recent "highlights" are accusing eldest dd of being bulemic (sp?) and then questioning me on dd's willingness to help a friend of hers who's having a hard time of it right now. Like I don't know my own dd's limits???? It comes down to control with her. Her and her bottle. As long as she's liquored up, she knows all and knows I can't survive without her financial assistance right now.
She's becoming totally dependent on me - as if I don't have enough on my plate raising 3 kids on my own, holding down a job, going to school, and trying to get this stupid bp under control?!?!?!?! But, if I refuse her anything, I'm an ungrateful _______(fill in the blank). I can't win! I'm tempted to just pack my kids up and hit the streets. But I can't do that to my kids. But staying here isn't showing them a good example either.
DD is seeing a tdoc and pdoc and is being treated for bp as well. Hers is actually under control........lucky kid! She had the misfortune of catching a double-whammy virus that's going around school and has been home for 2 days and my mother had the nerve to insinuate that A) she's playing hooky and B) that I'm not doing my job as a parent! Anyway, by virtue of dd vomiting yesterday, she's automaticlaly bulemic 'cuz my mother saw an ED episode of Dr. Phil!
I can't help but think somewhere in my past I've done something horrible and am being severely punished for it now. But for the life of me, can't figure out what! I'm sick of being the one everyone can rely on because frankly, I can't take it all! I'm not the superwoman they all think I am! My kids are the exception. I am a mother and as their mother am here to fulfill their needs and give them love and everything else I possibly can. WHich is why I've gone back to school. WHich now, I'm relaly thinking was a huge mistake, as that's also furthered my debt.
So for everything I try to make better in my life I get bitten square on *the cheeks* for. So why am I even trying?
Sorry for the pity party, but I'm just in a bad place today. Thanks for listening.
Traci
don't be sorry...if it helps, have a big ole pity party !! :oP
Sorry about your mom..that does have to be rough...didn't you file paperwork to get support from xdh?
God could not be everywhere, so
(((traci)))
Let me tell you, I can relate! I am currently "stable" and all that means is my moods aren't fluctuating, BUT they I'm stable on the depressed side of things. So things are hard. It's hard to force myself to do things. Plus we all have stressors in our lives. "Normal" people have stress and would be stressing over finances too. I am stressing over finance. I've been out of work for 2 months. Money sucks! Why must the world revolve around it?
Good to hear that you're stable though. Just keep trying to push yourself through this.
Love,
Amanda
co-cl of the Get Organized board