Keli
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| Thu, 09-15-2005 - 5:56pm |
Keli,
I have been so waked out with all my crap that I haven't been there to give you support. I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time of it. I am so glad your pdoc is working so close with you. As you know I know what it feels like to want to give up...completely give up. I am glad neither one of us did. I am positive the other ladies on the board can relate as well.
Please keep hanging in there. I hope the Prozac starts to help and doesn't make you too manic or cycle. So far it has done pretty well for me until my mom died but even so, it is helping me more then I think.
You know Keli, you are so special. You go through so much and then you are still there for everyone helping out with encouraging words. Be good to yourself that way. You are very valuable. I am thankful that God made you.
I agree with your pdoc, if you need more time off from work let her help you with that.
I'm sending you a BIG HUG(((((((((((((((Keli)))))))))))))))))))))))
Love ya,
Tina~

Honey, you are so special too...I knew you were "wacked out" as you put it, and I didn't even expect anything from you...and that just proves how loving and caring you are! I'm glad too, that we didn't give up...we were both on the edge, for different reasons, but I guess the reasons didn't matter...what matter is that we are still here and we got through the worst of it, and we will get through the REST of it. Because we have other reasons to. We have our wonderful teenagers! LOL. We have Billy and Eric. We have each other, and the other people in our lives.
I have to go through the EMDR. That won't be easy. But once its over, its over. Then I'll be able to stabilize a lot more. I'm ready, SO ready to get it over with. I have family issues still going on that I can't really just ignore, or separate myself completely from and I'm really angry about it. But I do know that its not worth dying over, or ending up in the psych ward over. Life is hard for a lot of people. And this stuff will happen whether I'm BP or not. Its all a matter of learning to deal with things in a realistic manner, and not take everything as a personal failure, or attack. That's my biggest thing right now. But I'm learning every day and making progress.
Guess that's all I can do, right?
I want you to keep taking things very very slowly. Do only what you can. Take the xanax only as you need it and only as many as pdoc said, okay? I really worry about that. My pdoc told me yesterday to take my ativan 2-3 times a day, and she increased it from 0.5 to 1 mg and said we'd worry about any addiction later. i don't need it that much though, so i don't take it that often.
Thanks for posting to me, and for caring. I love you.
Keli