Tracey
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| Fri, 09-16-2005 - 9:50am |
How did the interview go?
How are you doing? Everying going okay with you?
I'm okay...tired...but okay. Topamax is kicking my butt, man. Its not killing my appetite much anymore though, maybe it will when I increase it tonight...I'm pmsing though too, and I know when I pms'ed last month, all I wanted to do was eat too...so that could be it...
I want to go back to bed. I still have this huge pile of work to do. I still can't focu on it much either. I should have taken the day off...but I called in sick on Monday, so that just wouldn't be cool...I'll try to force my way through some of it somehow.
I cannot wait to do this EMDR crap. I really can't. My whole life is interrupted right now. TDoc said maybe 2-3 sessions of it is all I'll need. Maybe less. You can't predict it. You just KNOW when you're through, cuz you will feel "cured". Its a strange thing. But she said its soooo proven to work. I know one peron personally who has had it, and he said it was a miracle. He had 2 sessions. So, I don't know. Jane says SHE can't wait for me to have it. LOL. She says to trust it. I trust her. So I will. My Tdoc fully believes in it too.
My marriage is totally suffering because of all this. Eric's trying. But even he isn't perfect. He's being really cool most of the time...but come on, it can't be all peachy keen, ya know? I'm no fun to live with...and we aren't actually intimate on any level anymore...but I cannot. Period. Flashbacks hit me hard; and I just can't.
But, it will all be dealt with soon. I hesitate to say over, but over ENOUGH. Know what I mean? So, he can wait. If he can't, then he can go, because regardless of what anyone thinks, I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! I just don't have a car right now! hahaha I can't put myself in further jeopardy for him right now, as selfish as that might sound. I hate when he has a "mood" but I am learning to try not to take it personally. Its hard, though. Cuz its because of ME. Oh well.
Anyway, just checkin on ya.
Love ya,
k.

bumping up...
i hate money stuff...
if i don't spend ANYTHING i might just make it til i get paid two weeks from now...but that doesn't take into account i need stuff at the store, like sugar, and ciggarettes (but not right away)...but its been worse...oh well.
AND i need to do laundry and i am not going to my mom's this weekend, so there's $10 that i don't have...
gas is AT LEAST $20 a week for me, and that is ONLY if i don't drive ANYWHERE else but to work and home...and that's it...so that's $40 right there...then lunch money for my kid is another $20 a week...there's another $40...all i have is $80 left, IF i return something i've been meaning to return to walmart all month...
well, like i said, its been worse.
Hey girl!
You sound a little bit better today. Any little bit is a good bit!
The interview went fantastic. They are making their decision today, so I am watching my phone like crazy. From the way they talked to me and the things they said, I am fairly sure I have the job.
PLUS, Mike called about the injection molding job and they were really exciting by his experience in the field and wanted a resume so we sent that off last night. He's a bit excited to go back to work too. Best part, the two companies are REALLY close to each other.
Fought with Savannah ALL NIGHT until she went to bed last night. It was NOT fun. I had given her a break and let her play X-Men on her Game Cube until supper time. Then she was suppose to do her homework after supper. It took her FOREVER and she wasn't paying attention to it and she wasn't focusing on it either so she kept making STUPID mistakes.
Otherwise, things here are good. I am completely med free and can tell. Am going to really have to watch it.
You hang in there and I'm counting down until you get your EMDR. I hope it does everything it is suppose to and more! I'll try to call this weekend.
Love
T