I feel like a burden
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| Fri, 09-16-2005 - 12:41pm |
Well I had originally put things were better, then I kept writing...so thats not so true at the end.
DH is a freaking grouch, but when is he not? LOL He is all stressed out about work as usual, and I hate it for him. He has to play chaffeur for everyone and that takes huge chunks out of his workday and it is a problem for him, but unfortunately I cant help. I think I might start taking the bus home in the afternoons from school instead of him picking me up so that he doesnt have to stop working to do that. I cant cross the street but he will walk across and get me without taking more than 5 minutes away from work, so that might help some. I hate feeling like a burden, He is stuck with a fat, ugly wife who can barely see and has bp on top of just normal problems...no wonder his health is so bad and he is stressed out. I want to fix it and I cant...and it makes it soooo much worse.
He has to take time out to go to the grocery store and to take the kids and pick them up and take me and pick me up and do anything else we need to do and he hates doing any kind of shopping with the kids because it is soooo difficult, but he doesnt have time when they are in school and he doesnt have time to exercise which makes his health stay bad and hes not sleeping enough because he is trying to make sure he does his work for the day and its just really hard on him, and I dont make it easier. And we go to his grandmother's almost every weekend to help her with things that need to be done because no one else can/will do it. He is like the glue of the family. Without him trying, they would all just do their own thing and not do anything together but he organizes and cooks and does whatever for the holidays so everyone gets together and no one helps him and no one takes time out to help his grandmother when they all live either in the same town or an hour away at most. That puts alot of strain on him and us at the same time. But if he doesnt do it, it wont get done and then his grandmother suffers, and he refuses to let that happen. and once again I cant help.
I hate seeing this happen and not being able to do anything. I mean damn, I cant even make sure the house is clean and dinner is cooked and the kids are taken care of some days...and that should be the least of the things I do around here and I know it really matters to him, he complains 10x worse when the house is a mess. I want to be normal, or at least not be me.
Rebekah


I'm so sorry you are going thru this right now...it so sucks big time.
I just wanted to give you big (((hugs)))
Sounds like dh needs to slow down...but he's the only one that can do that.
God could not be everywhere, so
((((((Rebekah))))))
It is your bp saying all those nasty things about you! Don't listen. I know your dh has a lot to deal with but I want you not to blame yourself for it.
Lots of hugs and positive thoughts,
Amanda
co-cl of the Get Organized board