i don't like this ride

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
i don't like this ride
4
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 8:15am

and i wish the stupid thing would break even and throw me off into space somewhere, since it won't just be nice and let me off...

i guess that's trigs...

just frustrated...still depressed to an extent...i don't feel good that's certain...and this feeling is just not acceptable...i have and can feel better than this...this sucks...i mean, yes, its one step up from suicidal...its not crying 24/7, but its close enough and i don't like it...

i still can't focus, or concentrate, or have fun of any kind...its existing, yes, but i EXPECT much more than this...ya know?

i'm still in a lot of pain...i am ready to take pain meds, and am in the process of getting a dr. appt with my GP and am going to ask for Ultram since its non-narcotic. I do have to work somehow. I have a meeting with my bss at 9:30 to go over some work stuff and I better be able to pull it off.

I have some stuff to get done today and tomorrow, some deadlines, and catching up stuff to do...then I'm thinking of taking some time off...some sick leave...I need to ask my pdoc about it today, I have yet another appointment.

I just don't know what to do to FEEL better...I'm doing EVERYTHING I am supposed to do. I even told my mom I wasn't coming again this weekend. I just don't know anymore...I'm soooooo incredibly stuck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 8:24am

(((Keli)))


You are doing exactly what you are supposed to do to feel better.

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God could not be everywhere, so

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 8:56am

Hi Keli,

I can tell how frustrated you are... that's a huge part of this ride, isn't it? Just sheer frustration, working so hard to feel better, following the plan, and then having such mixed results!

The only thing we can do is just keep trying, one day at a time, and keep up hope. Maybe your appointments will go well and some relief will come your way. I am sending you all the hope I have.

Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 10:43am

Keli...I am sending you many big hugs. I know you have been really fighting hard at keeping above water and waiting to feel like you can finally breathe. The main thing here is that you are fighting because you are a fighter. Tell your pdoc what is going on. Your pdoc will find something she can do for you. she has seemed to be working really hard with you and that is great. At least you can count on your pdoc trying to do something for you.

I am so sorry you are in so much physical pain as well. My sister has Fibro BAD and she can't even get up out off bed some days except to get to the bathroom. She swells all over and fells so much pain. My cousin has it too. My cousin takes magnesium and says it helps, but you have to take it everyday. If you are in that much pain I would go see your GP and get him to give you the Ultram or something that will ease the pain.

Honey, if you need time off from work please talk to your pdoc today about it and arrange something. You need to take care of yourself. You are the number one person right now that you NEED to take care of. I love you and I hope it goes well at the pdocs today.

Hang in there, Girl!!!

Tina~

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2004
Tue, 09-20-2005 - 11:26am

hi sweetie,


sorry, so sorry you are still going thru this!